I Could Hold You Forever
by Bumbleberrypie
Summary: Sweet intellegent Sexy even though he doesnt think so Adores his girlfreind and never stops telling her how much he loves her Gave her his heart and never wants it back Knows how to have fun and cares more about romance than the sexual things. Josh Ramsay
1. Chapter 1

"We Won!" screamed my friend Catherine

You could here her voice over all the other people yelling at the opening bands. She had just won to meet her favourite band. She had been telling me all about them, all month! And trust me, I think she knew everything!

"We won, WE WON!"

"What?" I said

I didn't think we would ever win this contest. It was a simple, "'text in this number for your chance to win'", and everyone was doing it. How did we, out of all people win this?

I looked down at the text, and looked back up at her. She looked so overwhelmed! Then all of a sudden she was gone, slithering through the crowd to get out.

I follow her.

That crowd was horrible. It was hot and everyone was packed so tight together. Catherine ran all the way to the gate, where I'm guessing they told her to go to meet this band.

"What's the bands name again?" I asked

"Our Lady Peace!" she exclaimed sounding like I should already know this.

"I don't know who these bands are! You invited me! " I laughed.

She didn't even care that I didn't know what was going on. She was so focused on getting backstage to meet this band.

I watched as a security guard came and asked for the people who won to line up. As each person walked in he would check off a number. They had the numbers written down and asked you your number to make sure you were the one who won.

We got in. As we were walking backstage I was getting her hopes up even more.

"Are you getting a picture with them? What if they start talking to you? Will you cry?"

We were just about to walk into the gates where we will see them, but something caught my eye. It was gorgeous, silver, bracelet. It had charms and looked like it was worth a lot too. As I leaned over to pick it up, I thought about how upset the person who lost this would be. I knew I had to give this magnificent thing back.

But first I had to meet this band Catherine was so worked up about!

All the people who had won were all lined up. Catherine was franticly looking around for something for them to sign.

"The CD, the CD! You brought it right? Use that!" I suggested.

"Yes!"

She ripped her CD out. I was standing there trying to think if I had anything for them to sign in my bag, before looking.

"Uuhhhhh" she gasped

I looked over and there was this band I knew all about because of the explanations I'd been getting all month. She quickly pulled her dark brown hair into a ponytail, doing her quick touch ups before they saw her. I could tell by the look on her face that this was the time she will never forget.

As each band member passed by to sign things, she couldn't even say a word. I watched as she watched each member touch the CD and sign it. Then we got pictures. She was walking on air! It was so funny to see.

We walked out of the gates, and looked over to see her admiring each part of the signatures.

"That one's Raine Maida's," she said smiling.

"Catherine! You just met you favourite band!"

She was so overwhelmed I don't even think she was paying any attention to me. I had almost forgot about the bracelet!

I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at it for the last time. I looked up and tried to find someone maybe, looking around.

"We have to find the person who owns this!" I declared

"Uh huh" Catherine muttered

I saw a man in the distance looking under things on his hands and knees. He was about our age. I guided Catherine over, and asked

"Hey, did you loose something?"

He looked up and stopped. It was like he was in a daze for a moment. It was like he was looking thru me.

"Yea actually.. Have you seen a.. Bracelet around?"

I pulled it out for him to see.

"Uh, um, yea.. That's. mine." he stuttered

"Kay, good. I thought I wouldn't be able to find the person who owned it. It's really nice.

He picked himself up and wiped the dust off his knees.

"Thanks"

He was wearing a bright blue dress shirt with a tie, which was loose around his neck. Along with this he was wearing black skinny jeans, ripped. The strangest thing though was his hair. It was blue! Not all of it, just the front bang part, the rest was black. I couldn't get my eyes off his eyes though. They were a Blue-Green colour, perfect.

I didn't want to seem weird, so I looked away and took my obsessed friend, and went back to the crowd.

"Why would someone go to a concert wearing that?" I asked Catherine

"Humm? What? Who?"

"That guy! Did you not even look at him?"

"Uh, no, isn't this CD amazing?"

By this time we were already back in the crowd. There were so many opening bands I couldn't keep track of who was who. They were introducing the next band.

"And now, we have our next band, Marianas Trench!"

That didn't sound familiar at all. I could barley see so I just stood and listened. The crowed started cheering and screaming. A familiar song started playing

I knew them! They were playing Shake Tramp. I had heard people at school sing this, and play it at dances. After the song, the lead singer started talking, I knew that voice. It was the voice I had heard earlier. I moved over a little and saw that man! It was that guy with the blue hair! No wonder why he was wearing the dress shirt and all! I stood there and just smiled in shock. I had no idea!

Catherine and I watched the rest of the show, till her favourite band, came on. It was so packed and uncomfortable, that I wanted to leave.

"Is it almost over?" I wondered

"I hope not!" Catherine yelled

My back hurt and I was tired. It had been a long day. We had gotten to this venue at 11am and it was now 7:30pm. There was only this one last band and we could relax and hang out with the people we were with. I couldn't wait!

Getting out of this venue, I think, was the hardest part. It was a big building but the show was inside just one hall. Catherine and I waited in the halls for all the others we were with to show up so we could hang out for a bit and talk about the show. Catherine was so excited to show everybody her CD. She was still staring at it, mesmerized.

"Hey guys! Did u see that? It was so fun," said our friend Emma

"Look, look, look, look!" squeaked Catherine

"Oh cool!" said another friend

We were all just watching Catherine explain this day, 'the best day of her life', when I got taken right out of the group. Someone had grabbed my arm and completely turned me around.

"Thanks a lot for giving me the bracelet back. I wouldn't have been able to do the show without it," exclaimed that guy with blue hair.

"Oh, your welcome" I announced

"I'm Josh"

"I'm Ella, you did a really good job performing tonight."

"You liked it? Good. I'm glad. Did you come here with anybody?" Josh wondered

"No one in particular, just a group of friends"

Getting lost in the conversation with Josh was easy. The group of friends behind me faded away and it was just him and I.

"Do you live around here?" Josh asked

"Yea, I'm a local."

"We should get together sometime"

"Yea.. I'd like that." I said

I walked over to Catherine.

"And this is the Sharpie they used.." Catherine exclaimed

"Hey!" She yelled

"It'll just be a minute" I replied

I took the Sharpie over to Josh and took his hand. I turned it over so it was palm side up, and wrote my number on it. I looked up and smiled. He smiled back.

"I'll talk to you later then" Josh said with a grin

"Looking forward to it." I lilted

I slowly walked back to the group of friends to find all of them intensely staring at me.

"Oohhhh Ella's got a boyfriend!" yelled the whole group

It was like it was planned because they were all synchronized. Suddenly my phone rang and a second of panic took over my mind. Who would be calling at this time?

"Hello"

"Hi, just making sure you didn't give me a fake number."

I look behind me to see him fifteen feet away.

"Nope its real"

I flipped my phone shut and glanced over at Josh and giggled.

"That guy looks like the guy that was on stage," said Natalie

"That's cuz it is," I laughed

All the way back to the car all they could talk about was Josh and I. Thank God it only takes a few minutes to get home.

I woke up at nine the next morning to my cat Anemone. There was a text lingering on my cell phone. I got myself out of bed and got myself ready for the day. I was just about to head out when I saw the text on my phone again. It read

"_Hey, what are you doing today?"_

It was from Josh.

"_I'm just about to leave for school." _ I asked

"_School?" _He asked

"_Yea, I have to go to school to get a good job :)"_

"_What are you going to be?"_

"_Working in the ER" I_ wrote

"_Cool! On a Sunday?"_

"_No I'm just going to pick a few books up, then I'm done for the day. Why?"_

"_It's my last day in TO and I wanted to see you again :)"_

This is how things went, for weeks. We got to know each other really well and I think I really like him. Those weeks turned into months. Now it's been a year since I'd seen him. We talked on the phone all the time though, and even though he lived in Vancouver our relationship was still progressing well.

"Hello"

"Guess what?"

"What?" I said laughing

"We have a show in Toronto this Saturday! So we can see each other again.. For the second time" He said, emphasising the 'second' part

"Great! Does that mean I should buy tickets?"

"No, go check your mail."

"Kay I'll take the stairs so I don't loose you."

I walked out of the door of my apartment and down the stairs to the main floor. After finally finding my key I opened to box. Inside my mail was a backstage pass.

"Oh my god! Really?"

"I'll pick you up at seven, and you can meet the band and all"

"Okay!"

"Kay, I'll see you then, okay?"

"See you"

"Bye"

I was finally going to see him. I was kind of nervous and excited at the same time. What if he doesn't like me anymore? I mean, we're friends but, I kind of want this to be more than friends.

The week went by really fast and it was Saturday. I got all dressed up and did my make-up and all. I wore skinny jeans with a light blue spaghetti strap shirt that flared out slightly. For my hair, I straitened it, like usually. I was ready way too soon, it was six and he wasn't going to show up till seven. Then the phone rang,

"Hello"

"Hi darling" it was my mom

"Hi"

"Are you going out with that guy you don't know?"

"Um, yea mom, but I know him."

"When I was young, there were no phones and text messaging. So we couldn't have long distance relationships like you guys do, you dated the people in your community."

"MOM! Were not dating!"

"Oh okay then" She said. I could tell she was smirking at this point.

"When will I get to meet this boy?"

"Soon. I hope. Anyway I should go, he's going to be here soon."

"Okay, love you, have fun!"

"Bye mom!"

She always said I fall in love to quickly and then things get bad. I think this will be different though. I hope.

There was a knock on the door. My heart skipped a beat. I walked over and took a deep breath before I opened it. I looked up at him and smiled, didn't say a word. He was wearing a red dress shirt with a white tie, loose around his neck just like before, black skinny jeans and a white was still the blue hair and the Green-Blue eyes.

We both smiled

"Hi" I said, breaking the silence

"You look great" Josh gleamed

"Thanks"

"You, you ready?" He stuttered

I think he was as nervous as I was.

"Yup!"

As we walked out of the apartment it was silent, kind of awkward. We didn't say a word till we got out into his car. It was a black Honda Civic. It was really nice.

I got into the passenger side.

"Wow this is really nice." I exclaimed

"Thanks" he laughed

As we were in the car we talked and got a, little more comfortable with each other. He sounded just like he did on the phone; it felt so funny to actually 'see' him. We got to the venue he was performing at. There were already people lined up outside the place! We drove around back and got out of the car. I was about halfway around the back of the car when he started walking towards me. He held out his hand.

I took his hand and smiled. This couldn't be happening, he must really like me. We didn't say a word till we got inside. We didn't have to.

We walked in holding hands, everyone was sound checking. A guy with a big mohawk came up to us and said to me

"Well, you must be Ella. We've heard a lot about you."

I looked up at Josh. He was giving them that 'shut up' look. I looked back at the man and smiled

"This is Mike." Josh added

I nodded. He pointed to each person as he said his name.

"Matt, Ian, and Brett"

"What do they all play?" I asked

"Matt's lead guitar, Mike's base and Ian's…"

"Drums" I said

"Aw! They're finishing each others sentences!" Brett said with a smirk.

"Shut the fuck up!" Josh yelled

I couldn't help but smile. It was so funny.

"And that's Brett, the guitar tech." Josh exclaimed

"Hi!" I giggled

Josh and I walked over to what I think must have been dressing rooms. He sounded worried. He wanted to make sure I was going to have a good time and all. He told me to just do whatever and have fun. Easy enough.

Before I knew it the announcers were introducing the band. Marianas Trench. They went out onto the stage, and the crowd went completely crazy. They must have gotten a lot bigger over the past year. They all looked like they were having so much fun performing, and they were really good! Josh told jokes and they all danced around. At one point he was even off the stage so people could touch him.

That was when I realized how lucky I was. I couldn't help but smile.

After the show, Josh walked right over to me and gave me a hug.

"Did you like the show?" He said into my ear

"Yes. You're really good"

Everyone was saying good job as he walked out. I almost felt that proud feeling. It was still warm outside even though it was really late, like two in the morning. I could see the car, and we were walking towards it, but he stopped in front of it.

I held very still, he leaned in towards me. My eyes closed, my fingers wrapped around his. His hands caught my face and his lips found mine.

One hand moved up my neck and into my hair. The other at my shoulder, and he pulled me closer. I slowly lifted my hand up towards his neck. All the while his lips, soft and warm, kissed mine. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with loving eyes.

He walked me over to the car and opened the door for me

"Thank you," I said almost embarrassed

He smiled, that perfect smile,

"Your welcome"

As we were driving away I must have looked so funny. I couldn't stop smiling. It wasn't that long till we got to my place and he would have to go.

"So does this mean we're together?" I asked

"If you want"

"Well, is that yes or no?" I smiled

He looked over and nodded. Then all of a sudden there was fear in his eyes. Something was wrong, but I didn't care this was perfect, he was perfect.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up to a blinding light, switching over from eye to eye. It was a doctor, no, doctors. I was in a gurney and I must have been getting pulled to surgery. People were screaming my name, but only one I had recognized, and it stuck out the most. It was Josh, crying out my name. I wanted to say his name back but it hurt too much. All I could do was held out my hand, and he took it. They brought me to a small room filled with equipment and monitors. They told him he had to leave, and I felt his hand slowly slip away, out of mine. I questioned whether I would ever see him again.

My deep slumber faded into rest and I could hear the hospital noises around me. It hurt to move, and was even worse to breathe. One of my hands felt different from the other. Was it broken? It felt warmer, more protected. I moved it, to find that there was another hand, holding it.

"Ella?"

I opened my eyes. It was Josh. He looked exhausted. Red eyes, like he was crying.

"I'm sorry," he cried

"Don't… leave…" I struggled to say

"Never" He said still upset

"What…happened…?" I asked

"We were in an accident, it was my fault. I'm sorry"

I shook my head. The last thing I could remember was in the car, with Josh.

"My…mom…where" I breathed

"She's here, she's gone to get something to eat"

Josh seemed to be getting a little better, he wasn't crying, like before.

"She was really worried, I don't think she likes me now." Josh exclaimed

"You met her?" I questioned

"Mummhumm! She's really nice" He replied

Just as we were talking about this my mom walked in. I could tell she was relaxed, wearing her baggy t-shirt and jeans.

"Oh, hi sweetie" she said as she shoved a blueberry muffin in her face.

"Hi" I said with less and less pain.

"I've finally met your little friend" She exclaimed signalling to Josh, right beside me. I just smiled

"Have you eaten at all today?" I asked Josh

"Uh, no" he muttered

"I think you should go and do that. I'll be fine"

"Are you sure?"

"Yup"

He got up and walked out. He must have been sitting there ever since it happened.

"What happened?" I asked my mom, she was still eating

"Um, you two were in an accident"

"But what happened"

"There was nobody on the roads and you guys went through the green light but there was a transport truck who didn't see and went through the red light. It hit right on your side and practically killed you."

"Shit, then it wasn't all his fault"

"It kinda was," she mumbled

"MOM!"

I sat up and thought about how bad he must feel. He probably hates himself. It's not his fault it was the truck drivers. Josh was going to be back soon, he was probably going to get something small so he could come back real quick.

He walked in a few minutes later.

"How are you feeling?" he worried

"Just as good as I was 5 minutes ago"

He smiled then laughed and took his seat right next to me again. My mom said she had to go and work, but that she would be back tomorrow. She worked weekends.

"You take care of her now" She directed toward Josh

"I will." he declared

She picked up her purse and left.

"So…" I mumbled

Just as I said this a nurse walked in. She came in to do a few tests and all that usual stuff. My mom probably told her that I was awake as she was leaving,

"How are we doing today?" the nurse asked

"Great… better than yesterday I guess"

"Okay, lets see here, you've had a rib surgery and a concussion. Uh,"

"Could I just see the chart? I work in the ER, I know what I'm doing."

"Uh, I guess"

It looked like I had a lot of surgery, how was I awake and moving like this? As I was looking over the chart Josh was reading it over my shoulder.

"It's not your fault," I mentioned again to him

I looked over to see tears in his eyes. I watched as the tears built up in his eyes and finally fell down his cheek. I put my hand up towards his face and slowly rubbed the tears off.

"I'm okay, it was the truck drivers fault. Trust me"

He leaned back away from the chart, and me and sat in the chair he'd been sitting all day. He held my hand and laid his head on the bed.

The nurse asked me a few more questions about how I was and what hurt and all that usual stuff you ask after someone has come out of surgery. She was done and I watched her leave the room. I looked back over at Josh and he was sound asleep. He probably hadn't slept in days, waiting for me to wake up. This was still so overwhelming, him being here. I would have thought I would be used to him around but I'm not.

I laid back, still holding his hand. I wasn't going to let go, I wanted him to stay forever because, I loved him.

I didn't wake up till about noon the next morning. He was still there, holding my hand.

"Did my mom show up yet?" I asked him

"No… I'm sure she'll be here soon though" He reassured "I'm writing a song"

"Really? What's it called? What's it about?"

"You"

"Me?"

"Yup! I think I might call it…" There was a long pause, before he said the name of it, "Beside You"

I was so surprised. He wrote a song, for me.

"Could I hear it?" I asked

"Sure, it's not completely done yet, but its okay."

"I don't care"

"Okay here goes,

_When you tears are spent on your last petense,_

_And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defence,_

_When it's in your spine, like you've walked for miles,_

And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while

_If your heart wears thin I will hold you up, _

_And I will hide you when it gets too much,_

_I'll be right beside you_

_When your overwhelmed and you've lost your breathe and the space between the things your know is blurry nonetheless_

_When you try to speak but you make no sound_

_And the words you want are out of reach _

_But they've never been so loud_

That's as far as I've gotten so far. Do you like it?"

"Yes! I love it!"

It was beautiful! He wrote a song for me! I wanted to cry. He was so nice and caring and loving and, everything I ever wanted.

About an hour later the nurse walked in again. This time she looked like she was going to say something bad about something. Like I was going to die or something. I could just tell by the way she walked over to me.

"I'm sorry to say that your mother's had cardiac arrest, and her lung cancer has come back. Very bad."

"She never had lung cancer," I argued

"She's had it for 3 years now. But it has come back very bad now."

"What? Where is she now?" I worried

"I think you're well enough to go and see her, she's in a room down the hall. #236 to the left."

I looked over at Josh who was worried I shouldn't be getting out of the hospital bed. He didn't think I was well enough to go see her.

"It's my mom. She's the only one I have left." I told Josh

The nurse and Josh helped me get off all of the things attached to me and helped me out of the bed. I was a lot better than when I first entered the hospital. I could walk and talk with no difficulty.

Josh and I walked down the hall to room #236 and I opened the door. There was my mom, hooked up to many machines. Josh guided me over to one of the chairs beside the bed. I sat down and took my mothers hand, she was so weak, almost white looking. A nurse came in and asked for Josh, as he was out in the hall I cried. How could I not know this about my mom? How could she not tell me? Josh came in the room a few minutes later.

"How is she?" I wondered

"Not good" Josh muttered "She might live another week if she's lucky"

He was telling me more about what the doctors had said when I felt a slight switch in the hand I was holding.

"Mom?"

"Yea baby?"

"You did good this time, josh really loves you," She whispered

I looked over at Josh, sitting right beside me.

"Josh?" My mom asked

"Yes?"

"I want you to know if you be good to her, she'll be good to you." She barely said

Josh nodded and put his arm around me. We sat there silently for a while. Her heart monitor started to decrease. I could tell she was dieing. All the doctors came running and Josh pulled me out of the way. I watched as they announced

"CLEAR" at each shock.

I couldn't look. I turned around crying, and hugged Josh. I could here them still talking, and the long shriek of the monitor. No heartbeat. Then it all stopped

"Death time 7:12pm"

Josh took me out of the room, and we went back to my room. He laid me down back on the little hospital bed.

"Everything will be okay"

He stopped and kissed me on the forehead and sat down.

My mom died that night. She was 56 years old. The only family I had left.

I woke up and remembered all that had happened the day before. Josh was still there, at the side of the bed. Waiting for me to wake up.

"I don't have anyone. What will I… How will I…" I stuttered

"It's okay" Josh said comforting

"It's not! I need her. She's gone." I cried

It was silent for a while. What was I going to do with no family like this? I wanted to go back and talk to her again. Then I remembered what she said.

"'…Josh really loves you'"

I looked over at Josh. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what I was going through. But I could tell he didn't like to see me in this pain.

"What am I going to do?" I cried

"Come to Vancouver with me." He said sympathetically

"What? My life is here, my job is here."

"Please?" he begged

**If you would like to hear the song Josh wrote search

Beside You By Marianas Trench into YouTube

The song IS NOT mine, copyright to Josh Ramsay an all of Marianas Trench


	3. Chapter 3

Authors note: Hi! I'm glad to hear there are people liking our story. Here's the next chapter, it's kind of short but there is much still to come! If you would like to know more about the story and when more updates will be, feel free to follow us on twitter (RamsayRachel KordybackEmma) or if you have DeviantART (Bumbleberrypie EmmaMueller)

_I think we should update the story every 2-4 days, no more than that though, promise _

In just short three months I had gotten into a serious accident, had a song written for me, witnessed my mothers death said goodbye to everyone and everything and am moving to Vancouver, all with the person I can't live without.

"You ready to go?" Josh asked

"I think"

I looked back at my once filled apartment, now empty and sold. I watched as Josh picked up a few of my bags and I carefully picked up Anemone in her cage. We got out the door and I locked it for the last time. We walked down the stairs and to the car. I was going to miss this place.

Traffic was bad and the roads were pure ice. We both worried we would miss our flight. The flight left at 9pm, and we were there at 8:15. The taxi dropped us off at the doors. We hauled our luggage into the hectic and crowded airport.

"Wow, is it always like this?" I asked

"No, It's just because it's almost Christmas."

"Follow Me," He demanded

I trusted the fact that he knew where we were supposed to be going, considering he'd probably been in hundreds of airports. We walked up to a long line where they would weight our bags and print out our tickets.

"So, are you excited?" He exclaimed

"Excited and nervous at he same time"

"Don't worry, you'll love Vancouver." He smiled

We finally got through the line and they took our bags and we made special arrangements for Anemone. This line took up so much of our time that we only have 30mins left.

After this he took my hand we walked over to the security line. This line was shorter than the other. I watched as each person got patted down it looked really awkward. Then it was my turn. For some reason they skipped patting me down. I felt relieved, but Josh was next.

They had to look through his carry on because he had a laptop and they thought it was a bomb or something. He didn't have the advantage of getting skipped. On top of all this bomb searching he got patted down EVERYWHERE. He stood there like it was a common routine.

"How are you used to that?" I wondered

"It happens all the time." He said casually

We took our carry-ons out of the bins and he took my hand again and led me through the airport. He looked down at his phone and realized the time. It was quarter to nine and we still needed to get to the other side of the airport to the boarding dock.

"Oh shit, we're not going to make it" He urged

Josh darted forward unexpectedly. I started to jog after him gaining speed with each step.

"Wait" I yelled

He immediately stopped, came and grabbed my hand and stared again. We arrived at the boarding dock within minutes. The lady checked our tickets and allowed us to board the plane with minutes to spare. We were the last two to enter the plane, and the flight attendant showed us to our seats. There were the last two left.

As we sat down I realised that we haven't had a one on one conversation before, about ourselves.

"Lets play a game. I'll tell you three things about myself and you do the same" I explained

"Um, okay?" he said confused

"I'll go first, I graduated high school early with honours, I just finished my four years of med school, and I'm adopted or... was adopted" I said

"Wow, you ready for mine?"

"Yea, lemme hear it"

"Its brutal"

"Come on! I wanna know, I'm moving in with you for God sake!" I mentioned

He took a deep breath before telling me. I didn't know whether I should be worried or not.

"Okay, I'm a recovering Heroin addict and I've been sober for 4 years now, when I was 23 when I was diagnosed with Bulimia. Um… and I dropped out of high school."

I couldn't believe what I herd. I had no idea he had gone through this much.

"Why are you upset?" he asked

"I had no idea you'd been through that much and I put you through more."

Tears rolled down my cheek and I looked away. I felt really bad and guilty for bragging.

"No you didn't, I didn't mind because I was with you."

He took his hand and turned me to face him.

"It's not your fault, those are the decisions I chose to make."

I gazed into his eyes for what felt like forever. I didn't want to look away.

"Why?" I wondered

He told me about how his parents got fed up with him using and told him he had to go to a rehab centre or he'd be kicked out of the house. His plan was to just go and then when he got out, to go back to drugs again. He showed me his tattoos on his arms. The one on his left arm were 2 rings wrapped around his arm. He said he was going to put a ring there for every year he was sober.

"I would look like a road map if I kept going, so I stopped" He explained

"What about that one? On the right?" I asked

He covered up one part of it and said

"See? This one looks like a bass clef, and when I cover this side it's a 1 and a 'y' for 1 year.

We ended up talking for about three hours. It was good that we had this time alone to talk. I took in everything he had just said and flipped up the armrest and leaned against him. He rested his head on mine and as sleep took over me I heard him whisper into my ear,

"I love you"

I sat back up, and looked at him right in the eyes

"I love you too" I smiled back.

I woke up to Josh saying my name softly. The plane had landed and everyone was unloading their things and leaving.

"It's time to wake up." He whispered softly in my ear.

I lifted my heard from his shoulder and yawned. He stood up and offered his hand to me. I took it and he helped me up. We took our carry ons and left the plane. As we were walking through the tunnel he put his arm around me and said

"You're going to love it here"

As we were walking through the airport Josh stopped to get a drink.

"Do you want one?" He asked

"Uh, no I'm fine thanks"

He walked up to the counter and asked for a coke 0.

"Oh yea, and I have this crazy obsession with Coke 0"

"I'm sure it's not that bad." I laughed

We headed to the conveyer belt to claim our luggage. After we got that, we headed over to where we were told to pick up Anemone. I told them my name and they found Anemone for me. Just as Josh and I were leaving a mob of girls screaming his name approached. He turned to me with sympathetic eyes

"I'm sorry." He said

"Can we get a picture?" They yelled

"Yea, of course." He replied

The girls turned to me and gave me what I thought was a 'dirty look', and handed me their camera. Josh stepped back and got ready to pose for the picture. He just looked at me and laughed. This when on until all the girls had a photo. When it was all over Josh walked over and put his arm around my waist and continued to escort me through the airport.

We got outside and walked over to the taxi. It smelt so much cleaner than Toronto. It was easier to breathe. There was hardly any snow on the ground even though it was the middle of December. It was a lot warmer too. Josh opened the door for me and he followed me into the car. I was so distracted by all the buildings and lights and streets, that I didn't pay any attention to Josh. We pulled up to his apartment and got all of our stuff out of the taxi. It was a huge building right near the water. He showed me in the door and we got in the elevator together.

"It's probably going to be pretty messy, just so you know." he explained

"That's okay, guys are messy." I laughed

He laughed and the elevator stopped and we walked out. He was on the top floor and we walked over to the door. It was silent. He put some bags down and searched for his keys, in his jacket pocket.

He found them and opened the door.

"Ladies first" He smirked

I walked in and there was a long hallway and at the end of it was a long couch in front of a window. As I walked down the hallway there was the kitchen on the right. I ran out to the living room onto the couch and looked out the window.

"Wow. This is so nice! You live here?" I squealed

"Yup, but usually its not this clean. I swear it wasn't this clean when I left."

I looked over to my right on the coffee table. There was a note. Josh came over and read it.

"'Didn't want you bringing the girl home to this pig sty. We all like her too much for you to blow it.

Love the guys"

"Uh Oh, what'd they break?" Josh exclaimed

I wandered around and found a second hallway. It was small. I walked into the first door on the left. It must have been a music room. He had guitars and a piano and all inside. One wall was almost covered in guitars. I stopped and stared at it.

Josh came up behind me and hugged me from behind.

"How do you like your new home so far?" He whispered into my ear

"I love it"

He put his head in the warmth of my neck and kissed it. I turned around and looked at him, to see him smiling again.

I walked out of that room and down the hall to the last room at the end. It was his. He was right behind me as I walked in.

"Holy shit, I don't think I've ever seen the floor before" He joked

It was a big room. With a walk-in closet and everything. There was a smaller couch this time and a long coffee table in front of it with a laptop in top of it. Over to the left was his bed. King size, perfectly made with pillows arranged nicely on top. Across from the bed was a TV. It must have been at least a 48". In between the cushions on the bed was something. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but it looked soft and fluffy… like a stuffed animal. I walked over and touched its black and white body.

"That's Tux" Josh explained

The cat was snuggled in and around the cushions on his bed. He looked up at me as I put out my hand for him to smell. He got up and seemed to really like me right away. Anemone!

I ran back down the hallway, through the living room and to Anemone's cage. I picked her up and walked back to Josh's Room where Tux was.

"Tux, meet Anemone. Anemone, meet Tux." I gleamed giggling

Josh laughed. The cats seemed to like each other right away. Josh sat down on the couch and picked up the laptop. I went around the table and sat down. I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Your tired aren't you."

"Yea." I said.

He put the laptop down and moved me over to the bed. It felt like home already. I loved it.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hope you guys are liking the chapters so far! There is much more to come. Again, if you want to hear the song Josh wrote for Ella search 'Beside You' By 'Marianas Trench' and it will come up. The lyrics are NOT mine.**_

I woke up in the middle of the night to Josh. He was on the other side of the bed rolling around. This must be why he had a king size bed. He rolled over to my side and I pushed him over. He just moaned and moved over but a few seconds later he was rolling up against me again. This time I pushed him really hard and he rolled off but didn't stop and went right off the bed.

He was awake. He jumped up and I sat up. I started laughing and I couldn't stop. He didn't understand what exactly had happened and before I knew it he was laughing too. I laid back down in the bed and Josh climbed back in. I watched him lay down and then I laid onto his arm.

"So what are we going to do tomorrow?" I asked

"I don't know, whatever you want" Josh said tired

He put his arm around me and I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning to the phone ringing. He still had is arm around me and didn't move as the phone rang

"Are you gonna get it?" I asked

"I guess," he moaned

He took his arm off me and rolled over to the side of the bed the phone was on.

"Hello" Josh asked

I could tell the person on the other line was a girl. Josh sounded kind of annoyed. Then he talked about Christmas and presents. He hung up a few minutes later. By this time I was up and in the kitchen getting something to eat.

"It was my mom." He came in laughing

"She wants us to come to her house for a party of something. Tonight around 5. Want to go?"

"Yea! Who will I get to meet?"

"Everyone, sadly" He mumbled

"Ooh, do we get to buy gifts?"

"I don't usually but we can if you'd like"

"Lets go! We're going to the mall or, something around here."

I really wanted to go and do this. I had never really been able to go out and buy things for my family because I never had much of one. I got Josh up and out to the car.

"How many kids will be there?" I asked

"Um… Sara's kids, plus my aunts kids… uh…4 or 5?"

He took me to the mall and we walked in. I told him to go find something for his parents while I went to the kids' section to get some Barbie's and Trucks. He didn't seem to want to leave me, but I finally got him to go. He came back with a couple candles.

"What the hell is that?" I joked

"I don't know what I'm doing, I never buy gifts"

"Kay, come with me"

I took him over to the jewellery section.

"Does your mom like jewellery?" I asked

"Maybe." He stated

I picked up a really nice bracelet. It was silver with many things engraved in it. It also had a blank plate for engraving. I walked over to the man at the desk that was in charge of these things.

"Could you engrave 'Corlynn' into this?

"For Sure" The man answered

I looked at Josh. He was smiling. The man came back with it engraved right away.

"Now that's a present!" I gleamed

"Now what?"

"Well, what does your dad like?" I questioned

"I don't know, music"

"Does he have one of those… record thingy's?"

"You mean a record player?"

"Yea, whatever"

"Actually his just broke"

I started walking towards the antique store we had passed on our way in. I walked in and the first thing I saw was this old record player.

"This one good?" I asked

"Whoa! This is a really good one! They stopped making them a few years ago." Josh said amazed

"Good"

I picked it up and took it to the till. We left the mall with all the gifts we had needed.

We got into the car and drove home. As we walked in the door I stopped and said

"Now you have to wrap them"

"I'm good at that" He bragged

I took out the wrapping paper, tape and found the scissors while he laid the gifts on the table. I brought him all these things and he started cutting.

"I'm going to go and get ready, shower and all." I exclaimed

"Kay" He said staying focused

I went into the bathroom and got into the shower. I went to reach for the bottle of shampoo when I noticed that the shampoo was women's and colour safe. I ignored it but questioned it at the same time and continued with my shower.

Afterwards I got out and dressed. I dug my hairbrush out of my bag and came out the living room brushing my hair, still wet.

"So, I really liked your shampoo."

"Oh, I bought that for you." He said surprised that I noticed it

"And that's why it was half empty?"

"Well… I may have borrowed it a few times…"

"Uh huh? Yea right buddy."

I smiled and walked over to him wrapping the presents still. His fingers were bleeding and there was tape stuck to the scissors and everything.

"What the hell is going on here?" I asked laughing

"Wrapping"

He moved over and I finished the wrapping within a few minutes.

"You better go and get ready, its 3:30" I said

"Oh yea,"

I went back to the hallway and grabbed my shoes. Josh came out a few minutes later wearing the exact same t-shirt and jeans as before but with a dark blue hoodie on.

"Ready?" He asked

"If you are" I smiled

We took the elevator down to the main floor and got the car.

"So where do your parents live?" I asked

"On the sunshine coast" He exclaimed

"Do you think they'll like me?" I asked

"They better."

"Well, what if they don't?"

"Well then that's too bad because you're not going anywhere."

I smiled and looked over but he wouldn't take his eyes off the road. We pulled up to a driveway and josh cooed,

"We're here!"

He laughed as he got out of the car and walked around back to walk me in with him.

"Don't be surprised if my mother throws a bra at me or something," Josh explained

I laughed and we waited at the door for someone to come. The house was huge. I wasn't too big, but not too small, just big enough for his parents. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it just tight enough to get me ready. His mom opened the door,

"Hi darling!"

She hugged Josh and looked over at me.

"Well you must be Ella. We've herd a lot about you!"

"I'm sure" I smirked

Josh and I got in the door and it was like we were the centre of attention. The children all looked up and smiled at us. It felt like something was wrong like I forgot to put a shirt on. One of the kids went up to Josh's mom and said into her ear what I thought was "'look, they're under… mistletoe….'" Josh must have herd it too because he looked up.

"Jesus! Mother!" He wined

I was still looking up and I looked back to him. By this point all the kids were yelling

"Kiss, Kiss!"

I looked at him and smiled, he was still looking at his mom then looked down at me. I smiled even bigger and took his face in my hands. I pulled him down to my height and kissed him. I let go and he turned back towards his mom and ripped down the mistletoe. At this point all the little kids who had been yelling 'kiss' were now all covering their eyes and yelling 'ewww'!

"Everyone, this is Ella" Josh smiled

He looked down at me a said

"Be nice." To the crowd

Slowly I was introduced to everyone. His parents, Sister, nieces and nephew.

"Wow, you did good this time Josh!" Exclaimed his sister

"What is that supposed to mean?" Josh asked

As they said this I was playing with Josh's niece. She was really cute and polite. She was blonde, looked just like her mom, Josh's sister.

"It means she's really nice, she's better than who you've recently dated." Explained Sara

"Shut up." Josh said, he sounded annoyed at all the comments he got about me. They were all good but I think something happened with a past girlfriend.

I got the kids playing with each other so I could go and sit beside him. He was only a few feet away when his mom pulled me aside.

"It's nice meeting you, Josh has said a lot about you." She explained

"I've heard" I responded

"He's been telling me about you for a long time now, He really likes you, you know."

"Yea" I smiled "I know"

"Now go sit with him, I think he's really pissed off at Sara."

I smiled and walked over to Josh. He was sitting on the rugged old couch his parents had.

"Do you want to go out an get the gifts?" I asked

He nodded and got up. I got my boots on and went out. He seemed not himself. Like he didn't want to be here anymore.

"Come on! Cheer up, it's Christmas!" I laughed

I bend over and picked up some snow, made it into a ball and chucked it at him. He smiled.

"Hey" He laughed and finally looked up at me as we got around to the trunk of the car. We got the presents out of it and I started to the door. He was still grabbing some when I put down my things and picked up more snow. I wanted to cheer him up more. He walked around the car and I threw it at him. It hit him right on his head. There was snow all in his hair. He smiled and put down his things and started running. I ran across the lawn away from him.

"Don't slip!" He worried

"Come get me"

I ran around the lawn with him chasing me. He started to gain on me so I ran towards the door. I had troubles opening it and he came up right behind me, he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Caught you" He whispered into my ear

I turned around and looked at him. He hugged me and kissed my forehead. He felt so warm hugging me. I wanted to be right in this moment forever.

"Better get the gifts" He hummed

I looked back up at him, I didn't want to go back in, and I wanted to stay out here with him. He took his arms off me and walked over to the gifts he put down. I did the same and we walked in together with all of them. Josh opened the door first and let me in. As I put the gifts down he closed the door. I watched as he turned around and a bra flew at his face.

"This is the first time I bring Ella over and you are all fucking it up!" Josh yelled

I looked over at everyone's faces and they were all surprised he said that. It went silent and everyone looked over, just like when we walked in the first time.

"I really care about her a lot, I never should have brought her here!" He yelled again

He looked really upset and set the presents down. He stormed off and I followed. His sister Sara stopped me

"No, I'll handle it" Sara started

"No, it's okay I know how to make him feel better."

I walked though the entrance and turned down the hallway. He was in the first room on the right. I knocked on the door

"Go away Sara" Josh moaned

He wasn't facing the door and didn't know it was me. He was sitting on the bed looking out the window.

"It's me." I exclaimed

I let myself in. I walked over and sat beside him.

"Are you okay?" I asked

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought you here." He mumbled

"Why? I'm having fun."

"Do you not see how messed up they are?"

"They do it because they love you." I explained, "Do you want to leave?"

"No, I'm fine" Josh moped

Josh's mom came to the door and knocked.

"The kids are opening their gifts, you guys want to come and see?" She asked

"Yes. We. Do." I smiled

I pulled Josh off of the bed and dragged him out to watch. We walked out to the living room and he sat down on the couch. I sat on the floor passing all the gifts to the kids. They all tore the wrapping paper apart and I couldn't help but smile.

"How do you guys like 'em?" I asked

They all chorused "I love it" and "awe cool"

I showed the littlest one next to me how her Barbie works. Unexpectedly she got up and walked over to Josh. She tugged on his shirt to get his attention.

"Uncle Josh? Is Ella going to be our new auntie?" She asked in her small voice

I looked up at Josh and smiled. He picked the little one up and onto his knee.

"Do you want her to be?" He said with a big smile

All the rest of the kids started shouting

"Yea!"

The little girl stood on Josh's lap and hugged him. She was so tiny her arms could only fit around his neck. Josh hugged her back and it looked like that must have cheered him up. The little girl climbed back down and continued playing with her Barbie.

"And these ones are for you" I signalled over to Josh's parents "There from Josh"

"No. There from both of us" Josh interrupted

"The little ones for you" I explained as I handed the wrapped bracelet to his mom. She opened it and gasped.

"It's beautiful!"

I sprang up from the floor and helped her put it on. She hugged me, and said thank you and made her way over to Josh and did the same.

Next was his dad. Josh seemed content on impressing him. He opened it and his face lit up.

"Thank you very much you two! I love it"

He examined it and him and Josh talked about it for a bit.

"Now its my turn." Josh gleamed

He walked out of the room for a second and came back with one of his dad's acoustic guitars. He came right over to me and sat beside me. He looked me strait in the eyes and said

"I finished the song"

I was confused on what he was taking about and then he started.

"_When your tears are spent on your last pretence, and your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep I your defence, _

_When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles_

_And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while._

_If your heart wears thin I will hold you up _

_And I will hid you when it gets too much_

_I'll be right beside you_

_I'll be right beside you_

_When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath_

_When the space between the things you know is bully nonetheless_

_When you try to speak, _

_But you make no sound_

_And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud_

_If your heart wears thin I will hold you up_

_And I will hide you when it gets too much_

_I'll be right beside you_

_I'll be right beside you_

_I will stay_

_Nobody will break you_

_Trust in me, trust in me_

_Don't pull away_

_Trust in me, trust in me_

_I'm just trying to keep this together _

_Cause I could do worse and you could do better_

_Tears are spent, on your last pretence_

_And you tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defence_

_And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up_

_And I will hid you when it gets too much_

_I'll be right beside you_

_Nobody will break you_"

Tears of joy were welling up in my eyes. Josh stood up and leaned the guitar against the couch. As he did this I stood up as well and I hugged him. Everyone around us started clapping and cheering.

"I love you," He whispered

"Love you too," I whispered back

Dinner was long and fun. Then it was time to go. Josh and I drove home laughing at the things that had happened throughout the day. We didn't get home till late so we went straight to bed just like the night before. We got in to the door and I went to get ready for bed. We were both exhausted. We both climbed into bed and I rolled over to my side so I was facing him. After rolling over I ended up being less than a foot away from him. He was already looking at me. I reached over and started playing with his hair.

"Why Blue?" I asked referring to the blue strips in his hair

"You don't like it?" He worried

"No, I love it, just curious."

"I was tried of blonde"

"BLONDE?"

"Yea, it was a really gross bleachy blonde colour."

"Oh my god, I could never picture that" I exclaimed

He laughed and we later fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it took so long to put this up! LOL this is short but its got a lot in it!  Have fun.

I woke up to Josh beside me sitting on the couch. He was on the computer.

"Good Morning" Josh sang, "I hope you got a good night sleep, we're going to get a Christmas tree"

"Can't wait," I said as I pulled my self out of his bed.

I walked over to his fridge and opened it up. It was empty with nothing much to eat, just cases and cases of Coke 0.

"Am I supposed to drink this or something? For breakfast?" I asked

"Um no, its mine" He laughed "Wanna go out and get something?"

"Okay," I smiled

We got ready to go out. I was ready first but Josh wasn't far behind. We got out to the restaurant and ordered our food. We each ordered something small so that we could get the tree sooner. We got to the tree place and picked out the most beautiful tree. It was tall and very full. I couldn't wait to get home and decorate it. We approached the ssmall elevator and as the door opened we realized the tree was too big and we were going to have to take the stairs.

"Well fuck" Josh moaned

"Guess we're taking the stairs" I laughed

By the time we got up to his apartment the tree was completely destroyed. Branches were missing and most of the needles had fallen off. We had some trouble getting it up the stairs.

We got the tree in the door and I watched as Josh placed it down into the newly boughten tree stand. I stood and admired it while he went into the closet and pulled out a big box.

"Here's the decorations" He gleamed

"Wow, that's a lot don't you think?"

He smiled and opened the box for me to see all the ornaments.

"My side will look better," I teased

"Oh, we'll just see about that!" Josh laughed

We started decorating different sides of the tree, laughing as we went. There were many different colours, green, blue, yellow, purple. Finally we had finished. There was only one ornament left and I was putting it on my side. I stepped in front of Josh to see if there were any left hiding in the bottom. Suddenly a ward of shiny string was hurdled at my head. My mouth opened up in shock and I looked up to Josh. He was just as surprised as I was

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that! Are you okay?" Josh worried

He started walking towards me and I grabbed some of the tinsel off of myself and throw it back at him laughing. We went back and forth at it for what must have been an hour, leaping over furniture and dodging the attacks. I ran over to the kitchen and waited for him to come down the hallway so I could throw more at him. I herd a noise behind me and I turned around. He was right there smiling big. He looked down at me and put his hands at my hips as if he was going to hug me. I put my arms around his neck and he slowly lifted me up and spun me around in a circle. Even when I was back on the ground we were still frozen, staring at each other. He was resting his forehead on mine and I looked up. He bent down, as if to kiss me and I took the tinsel and shoved it down his back. I quickly bolted out into the living room again and Josh followed still trying to get the tinsel out of his shirt. As he walked into the room I got behind him and jumped on his back. He started laughing at my endless attempts to get him to the ground. I put my arms around his shoulders and sat there for a moment. He walked over to the tree and gave me the star.

"Can you reach?" He asked

"Mmmhum" I hummed

I reached up and put the star on the top of the tree. The phone rang and Josh let me down and I walked over to the phone

"Hello"

"Hi, just wanted to say thanks for the gifts and everything last night. Did you have fun?" Gleamed Josh's mom

"Yes, and your welcome."

"Is Josh better?"

"Yea, he's fine. We got a tree, and we're decorating it now actually"

She laughed, "Well have fun. I'll talk to you later then"

"Kay bye"

I hung up the phone and saw the tinsel that must have fallen out of Josh's shirt when I stuffed it down. I picked it up and walked out into the living room. Josh was standing, admiring the tree. I walked over very quiet and threw more right at him. He turned around and laughed. I tackled him down to the ground, still laughing and knelt beside him.

"I win!" I laughed

There was tinsel everywhere but the tree had just the right amount of it on.

"I think my side looks better," Josh said as he walked over to fix one last ornament.

"No!" I yelled "Mine does!"

"Okay, whatever helps you sleep at night." He smiled

I groaned and sat down on the couch right beside the tree and admired it for a bit.

"I got to go to the studio to record some songs for the new record. So, I'm going to go shower and get ready. Okay?" Josh stated

"Yep"

I sat down and watched TV for a while, while Josh showered. He had a million channels. You could watch everything from movies to TV shows, romance comedy, and horror. I sat and watched a few different things until I heard my phone go off in Josh's room. I got up and walked down the hallway and picked it up. It was a text from my friend in Toronto. After I took care of that I was walking back to the living room when I passed Josh in the bathroom. He was staring into the imirror trying to do something with his hair. I walked in and looked at him and myself in the mirror.

"What are you doing?" I asked

"Looking at my hair." He responded, "I think I need it recolouring"

I laughed at the effort he was putting into his hair

"Diva" I muttered under my breath

"Huh?" He asked

I smiled, "Oh nothing"

I went back out to the living room and relaxed for a while. Josh was back out, fully dressed, and hair done about 20 minutes later. I needed to shower too. I had tinsel all in my hair and felt gross.

I said bye before I went into the shower. I herd Josh leave from the bathroom and he had left the radio on. One of my favourite songs came on. There was nobody in the house so I started singing, just loud enough for myself to hear. The song ended and I was just about done my shower I heard the door open.

"You can sing?"

It was Josh. He must have forgotten something and came back in and heard me singing. I was still in the shower, behind the curtain, very embarrassed.

"Ella? That was fucking good!"

I turned the water off and Josh shut the door. I was so embarrassed to even say a word. I put on a towel and walked out into the hallway expecting him to be right there to ask questions.

I was right. I walked out and he was right there.

"You can sing?"

"I guess," I mumbled

I walked into his room and he followed.

"Don't you have to be somewhere?" I asked

"Oh yea. When I get back I wanna hear you sing. Kay"

"Josh… but…"

He was already walking back down the hallway

"No buts" He yelled from the living room.

I wasn't going to get around this. I got dressed and started cleaning up his room. There was already a mess on the floor. I was throwing things in the laundry when I saw the towel he used. It was white… well was white, now it was blue. I smiled and kept on going.

I walked out into the living room and remembered the tinsel fight. It was still all over the ground. Josh got back later that night and I was already half asleep. I felt him get into bed and I moved closer to him.

"Christmas tomorrow" He whispered

I smiled and slowly fell asleep.

I woke up to Josh getting out of bed. He got up and walked down the hall. What was he doing at this time of night? I thought about just staying in bed but I wanted to go see what woke him. I got some slippers on and walked out into the hallway. He was in the music room.

"Did I wake you?" He asked

'No, no," I lied

I squinted my eyes as I entered the brightly lit room. He was sitting at the piano, writing.

"What are you writing?" I wondered

"Nothing, wait till morning, I'll show you then." He smiled

I walked back over to bed and laid back down. Tomorrow was Christmas. I couldn't wait to find out what the surprise was.

I woke up and walked out to the living room. Josh was sitting on the couch watching TV. I walked over, all wrapped in my blanket, and sat next to him. I laid my head on his shoulder and watched as he watched the TV.

"Merry Christmas!" He cheered

I looked up and smiled.

"I have something for you" He exclaimed "Want to see?"

"Yea…" I smiled

"Come here."

He took me over to the music room and he sat on the piano chair. I did the same. He bent over and pulled out some sheets of paper. It was a song. I could tell. He put the sheet on the piano so he could see them.

"You ready?" He asked

I took a deep breath "yes."

"Will you sing to me?" He asked

I felt really insecure as he asked and I knew he really wanted me to. I nodded and he started a melody on the piano. I wanted to cry before it even started. He handed me a copy of the song.

He started "_Everyone's around, no words are coming now_

_And I can't find my breath can we just say the rest with no sound_

_And I know this isn't enough I still don't measure up_

_And I'm not prepared; sorry is never there when you need it_

_And now I do, want you to know I'll hold you up above everyone,_

_And now I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you. I would_

He signalled over to me to start the next verse.

I thought I saw a sign somewhere between the lines

_But maybe it's me; maybe I only see what I want_

_I still have your letter just got caught between _

_Someone I just invented, who I really am and who become_

_And now I do, want you to know I'll hold you up above everyone,_

_And now I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you. _

By this time I was crying. Those were my mom's last words. I stopped singing and he started

"I can't live without you I would

_And now I do, want you to know I'll hold you up above everyone,_

_And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you. _

I'd be good to you

_I'd be good to you_

_I'd be good to you_

_I'd be so good to you_

_I'd be good to you_

_I'd be good to you_

_I'd be good to you_

_I'd be so good to you"_

I couldn't talk. I was balling. I had that feeling in my throat where it gets all swollen and refuses you from talking. I couldn't do it. He was so nice.

He stopped, looked at me and wiped my tears away with his fingers. I bent over and hugged him, crying onto his shoulder.

"Thank you" I spit out

"I will" He looked at me. "I'll be good to you"

More tears welled up in my eyes and fell down my cheeks. I thought about the last words my mom said to me.

"'Josh loves you'"

He did, this was perfect. My gift to him was never going to top this. Nothing would.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

He took me and we walked out to the living room. He sat me down onto the couch and kissed my forehead. He left the room and came back with a box of tissues. We sat and looked at the tree for a bit, until I was feeling better.

"I got one more thing," He said softly

"Great… am I going to ball my eyes out again?" I joked

He shrugged and pulled out a white box. I smiled and looked at him as he handed it to me. I opened it. It was the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen. It had all the colours you could think of in different charms that dangled off it. Right in the middle was a silver heart. As I was looking at it I noticed something on the back. I turned it over, it read, in small print,

"I'll be good to you"

"Its hard to top those gifts." I laughed

"You being here is the best gift I could ever have" He smiled

I could've started crying again but I held myself together and went to get my gift. I came back with the little box it was in. I handed it to Josh and he waited till I sat down beside him to open it.

It was a ring. It was a dark brown colour with his name very small on the back. It had small engravings inside between the glass on the outside. He put it on right away and got up and hugged me.

"I love it," He said "I love you"

Months went on. Josh and I's relationship got even stronger as this time went. I learned to know him well. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. I applied for a job and was called back a few days later. As I worked there I met many new people. Lexi is one of my really good friends. Life was so perfect, its like I was living a dream.

"Hello?" Josh asked into the phone

It was a beautiful day to start the month of May off. The sun was shining and I could see the nice blue water from the window in the living room. Still in my PJ's I walked over and started making some bacon and eggs for breakfast. They were almost done as Josh hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" I asked

"Matt" Josh walked over "He's having a party and invited me."

Josh came and hugged me from behind and rested his head on my shoulder. I was still facing the stove, turning eggs over.

'Well, are you going to go?" I asked

"I don't know, I'd rather stay here."

"Go. Have fun." I smiled

I reached over for two plates and put the eggs on them. Josh immediately let go of me and took his plate. He sat down at the table and we talked for a bit.

"When's the party?" I asked

He finished chewing and answered

"Tonight"

I nodded and continued eating. We didn't have anything planned for today and he was always staying with me so I thought he should go spend time with friends.

I was planning on staying home all day today but things got really busy around the apartment. It was so messy I couldn't bear to live in it anymore. I started cleaning and got half the apartment done. The phone rang and Josh picked it up.

"Ella, the phones for you" He exclaimed

I walked over to josh and he handed me the phone.

"Hello" I asked into the phone

"Hi Ella, its Christina"

"Oh hi! How are you?" I asked

"Not so good. Bentley's really sick and I have to go in to work this afternoon. Could you…"

She didn't even have to finish the sentence. I knew exactly what she was going to ask

"Yea, I'll go in for you! No problem" I cheered

"Oh thank you!"

"Your welcome, I hope he gets better."

"Thanks" she exclaimed, "I'll see you later then"

"Yes, bye"

Bentley was Christina's son. He'd been sick with leukemia for about a year now. Christina was always been worried about him during work. It was really heartbreaking. I'd seen so many other children come into the Hospital with that but not as bad as Bentley. We both knew he didn't have much longer to live.

This meant I had to go and get ready for work. Work was always fun. I love what I do. So, I didn't mind going in for Christina.

Josh moaned as I told him I had to leave and I walked down the hall to our room. I got my hair done and my work clothes on. I walked out and got myself over to the front entrance where the shoes were. As I put on my shoes Josh came into the hallway.

"Have I ever told you how good you look in that uniform?"

"Phhhuut" I breathed

He smiled and gave me a kiss as I left.

"Have fun at your party"

"Okay" He stated

I walked out and down the hall and to the elevator and down to the car for work. I got to the hospital and the usual stuff happened. People lived and some died. Some cured, some diagnosed. I was used to it though.

Later that night I got home. I was super tired because I didn't normally work this shift. I got in the door and, right away, got ready for bed. On the bedroom door was a note

"_I should be home around 1am. Not too late. _

_Love you,_

_Josh"_

I laughed and kept getting ready. His writing was always so admirable; I didn't know he could do it that nice. My writing was always atrocious. I got myself into the bed and laid down. I thought for a while about life without Josh. I didn't know how I would have gone along without him. He just seemed so inviting and fun to be around. I found myself slipping into sleep thinking about this.

I woke up. I heard a slam. I didn't know what it was a first. A robber? I immediately got out of bed and heard as I thought they went into the bathroom. I peeked in and it was Josh. He must have drank too much and was getting sick. I ran over and knelt beside him. I rubbed his back and watched with loving eyes. He was crying. I could tell he was really upset.

"Are you okay?" I asked worried

It took him a while to answer but all he said was

"I'm sorry"

"What do you mean?" I asked

He finished and I walked him over to the bed and laid him down under the blankets. He smelt of booze and cigarettes. It was hard to bear but I did it. He wanted me to stay with him, and not leave the room.

"I'm sorry." He kept crying

"It's okay, it's okay" I breathed.

I rubbed his forehead and watched as the tears fell down his cheek.

"What happened?" I asked, "Why are you upset?"

I looked him right in the eyes. He was still weeping and his eyes were all shiny from the tears. I kept telling him he should just sleep. Just rest and tell me in the morning but he refused. Something bothered him.

"I… I…love you." He stuttered, "I always will"

"I love you too," I whispered

"I made a mistake," He cried

I held his hand and he pulled me closer. This is something that really bothered him and I knew I needed to hear it at this point.

"The party was out of control and I…"

He mumbled

"Cheated." He cried

"On what? What are you talking about?"

"You." He said softly "I'm so sorry!"

_If you want to hear the song Josh wrote to Ella search Good To You into Youtube, um oh and the ring Ella gives to Josh is seen in many of the marianas trench videos. ____ More up sooner than this! LOL_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey, sorry the story hasn't been updated in a while, I haven't had to the time to work on it. Hope you all enjoy it! Thanks_

Me. He cheated on me. It broke my heart to see him like this, I loved him. How could he? I couldn't stay now. It was over. The same thing happened to my mom. My dad cheated so many times and my mom knew it but she didn't want to leave. She loved him too much. I knew this was the right thing to do. I didn't want to be like her, wondering what he's really doing when he goes out. I couldn't.

"Its okay, relax" I started crying, "Just go to seep"

Josh finally fell asleep. I was still in my PJ's. I got all my belongings together and packed it all up in the suitcase. I took one last look around the apartment and stopped for the last time in his room. He was sound asleep. Tears still on his face. I started to look around for anything I left behind and looked at Josh one last time. I looked at him laying there, put my fingers through his hair and kissed him on the forehead.

"Bye" I whispered

I took my fingers and un-did the clasp of the necklace Josh had given me that Christmas 6 months ago. I held it in my hand and turned over the heart.

"'I'll be good to you,'" It read

I left it on the table beside the bed and I took anemone in her cage and left.

Lexi took me in that night so I would have somewhere to sleep. I cried myself to sleep thinking about him, I wanted to go back so badly, and just forgive him but I knew I couldn't. I had to forget.

It seemed everywhere I looked reminded me of him. Was he okay? Or was he fine with me gone.

May

June

July

August

"Good Morning!" I cheered as I walked into work.

"Morning" They cheered back

I walked over to the schedule for today. There wasn't much on it and so Lexi and I were assigned to just help out and check on patients. I loved talking with them, that's what I liked about this job. People were always so happy and grateful.

Lexi and I walked down to the lower floor and picked up our charts. Each board had all the information on the patient and what I needed to check. Lexi and I laughed and talked as we usually do all day in-between checking on these patients.

"Huh, one more and I can go home" Lexi said, tired

I smiled

"Me too."

I started up the stairs and to the last room of the day. I couldn't wait to get this over with. I walked in as usual and read the tests I had to do

"Okay, we're just going to do a few tests, it'll only be a minute."

I looked up and saw someone at this person's bedside. I knew them. I breathed in and my heart stopped. It was Corlynn.

I looked back down and the chart and read

"_Patient: Joshua Ramsay_

Severe concussion, 2 broken ribs"

I couldn't read anymore. I looked back up at the family again realizing it was Corlynn, Miles and his sister Sara at his bedside. Josh was in the hospital bed, broken.

"Ella?" asked his mom

I looked right at her and tears welled up in my eyes. I had just almost forgotten about Josh.

"Will he live?" She cried

I looked down at the chart and saw

"_7% chance of survival,_

Coma"

I shook my head 'no' and walked out of the room. I sat on the old chair outside his door and cried. I remembered the first time we saw each other. When I gave him back his bracelet and he smiled. I remembered meeting his parents, Corlynn and Miles. The song, Good To You, and the tinsel fight. It all came back as I sat in the chair. Sara came out and sat beside me.

"He hasn't done anything since you left." She explained "He wont talk to us. He doesn't want to live without you. He still loves you"

I looked back down at the chart and back up at her.

"Please, you might hate him but he needs you. I need you. Please help him. He's my brother." Sara exclaimed

I knew I had to do these tests and I could leave but after seeing him, I knew now there was never a time I could forget him.

I walked into the small hospital room and made sure his IV was good and he was breathing okay, heartbeat fine. He was doing really well for the surgery he had. I looked down at him, in all the wires hooked up to him. He looked gone, like he was already dead.

I looked over to the side table and saw my necklace.

"I'll be good to you"

He still had it. It was in perfect condition too. I picked it up and admired it.

"Where did you find this?" I whimpered

"It was in his hand before he got hit by the car." His mom responded

"A car?"

He still had it. I couldn't take this anymore. I paced out of the room and down the hall, wiping my tears, trying to be professional. Lexi saw me start to run to the bathroom and followed.

"What's wrong?" She worried

I handed her the papers on Josh and it took her a bit before she looked up at the name.

"Josh? He's here? What happened?"  
I kept wiping tears and she comforted me.

"Could you please take his chart and take care of him for me?" I whimpered, "I need someone I trust," Tears started coming again, "He has to live"

She took the clip board from my hand and nodded. She hugged me and comforted me for a bit. I got home and sat on my bed. All the possible things that could have happened to him went through my mind. Was he really hurt like Sara said? Why was he carrying the necklace? The worst possible thoughts came to my mind.

Everyday I walked past his room and every day he got better and better. I would see him talking to his mom, then sitting up but today, he seemed back to usual.

"Josh is leaving today." Lexi exclaimed, "He's recovered very fast. He asked me if I knew you."

"What'd you say?"

"I said I knew who you were. I don't think he recognised me."

I nodded and started walking to the next patient's room. Lexi followed.

"Have you decided what you're going to do yet?" She asked

"'Bout what?"

"Josh! Are you going to say something? Get back together?"

I didn't answer. I wanted to say no but I couldn't

"I think you should talk to him and ask his opinion on what happened because I know you love him and can't let him go. I saw you glancing at him."

I seriously thought about what Lexi said. He was really depressed and needed me. After work I made a plan to go back to the apartment where it all happened. I was going to see him again.

After work I took my time and got myself in the car. I sat there for a while and thought about what I was doing. Should I really be doing this? Lexi was right, I still loved him and it killed me to be away from him. I had to do this. I drove for about ten minutes before I arrived at the building. I parked out front and started in the doors of the apartment building. I got in the elevator and went up to the top floor. The elevator doors opened and the first thing I saw were Ian, Mike, and Matt. They were banging on Josh's door and trying to get him to come out but it wasn't working. They looked over at me and Matt ran towards me. I hadn't seen them in so long I wanted to cry and hug them.

"Please, it was my fault. Josh didn't mean to hurt you I swear. You have to talk to him," Matt pleaded

Ian and Mike walked over to Matt and I.

"He hasn't been talking to us at all and won't come to record more tracks. He doesn't want to do it anymore, and we have an album coming out this winter! We need him." Matt pleaded

I took a deep breath and replied

"I'll do my best"

I was surprised I wasn't crying yet. I knew I had to stay strong when I talked to Josh. I slowly walked up to the door and knocked.

"Get away, leave me the fuck alone!" Josh screamed

I cringed at the way he sounded.

"I don't want to talk to anyone…" He cried

My eyes teared up and I looked for the key. I still had it: in the bottom of my purse.

Quietly and slowly I opened the door and set my purse down. Everything looked the same. I walked down the once known hallway and got to the living room. Josh was sitting on the couch all crouched up in a ball. He was crying.

"Josh?" I was still in the hallway

He looked up and I saw the pain he was in. I don't think believed what he saw. His eyes got all glossy and I walked over. He just stared, he had tears running down his face and he wasn't moving. I walked over and I glanced at the table in front of him. There was a blade. He saw me look down at it and look back up at him.

"I didn't use it." He mumbled

I walked over to him and knelt down.

"What are you doing? Why are you doing this?" I asked tenderly

I went to take his hand but it was gripped onto something. I looked him right into his eyes. Those perfect Green-Blue eyes. I looked back down and he opened his hand. It was my necklace, he did still have it, and he wasn't going to let go of it.

I touched his hands and he stood up and looked at me. He stared to tear up again and took his hand and rubbed it through my hair. He moved closer and was looking down into my eyes.

"Don't leave. I need you." He mumbled

I looked up him and saw how different he was. It didn't matter though because he was there. I stood there for a few seconds before hugging him. He hugged me, necklace still in hand. I closed my eyes and took in the moment. He was beautiful, I couldn't leave now. There aren't words for how I felt. I didn't want to let go and neither did he. He pulled away and rubbed the tears out of his eyes.

"You need to clean yourself up, you look horrible" I stated and smiled

Josh moaned and just stood there, still looking at me

"How are you feeling?" I asked

I could see the bandages through his shirt. I slowly lifted his shirt up so I could see them. The stitches were bleeding through the bandages. I put my fingers over them and looked up

"Does it hurt?" I wondered

He shook his head and smiled

"You need to change this" I stated "I can get some gauze, I think you have some here. You need to bathe first though."

I walked over to the bathroom and opened up the cupboard. I found the gauze and left it on the counter. Josh struggled into the bathroom and watched me as I had taken this out.

"It does hurt doesn't it?" I wondered

He mumbled and I looked at him.

"Come on, get your shirt off" I said lovingly

I knew he wouldn't be able to get his shirt off on his own so I took a step closer to him and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and he maneuvered his left arm out of it. I did the same with his right and lifted the shirt of his body. He grinned at me.

"I'm here to help you, not fool around." I informed

The grin wiped right off his face and I got the shower going. Once the water got warm Josh stood outside the tub and supported himself with his arm on the shower wall. I took the showerhead and drenched his hair in the warm water.

"Which shampoo am I using?" I laughed looking at the many he had

"The blue bottle" He blabbed.  
As I reached for the electric blue bottle I read its label, 'TIGI colour safe shampoo'.

"Are you serious?" I laughed

He started to laugh but almost instantly he realized how much it hurt. I picked up the shampoo and rubbed it into his hair. Once his head was covered with white foam I rinsed it with the warm water. I grabbed a towel from behind me and rubbed it in his hair so it wasn't dripping wet. He stood upright so he could get his hair dry. I took the towel when he was done and noticed the blue all over it. I smiled and looked at the gauze. I went and stood in front of him and found where the gauze stopped. I walked around and around and got all the gauze off. There was a stitch that went right through the middle of his chest. There were small stitches on the sides of his mid stomach as well. I very lightly put my fingers across the big one in the middle of his chest.

"What did you do?" I wondered

"I didn't want to live anymore." He mumbled

"Why?" I asked shocked

"Because, you weren't here anymore"

I smiled and grabbed the gauze off the counter and started to wrap him back up.

"Tell me if I hurt you" I worried

I turned around and around carefully. Sometimes he would cringe but when I asked him if I hurt him he denied it. It was all done and I bent over to get his shirt off the ground. I stood up and he was right there in front of me, real close. He put his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest.

"Don't hurt yourself, tell me if I hurt you," I recited again

"Stop worrying about me, I'll be fine" He breathed

I took the shirt and put it over his body. We both looked in the mirror at each other and I stepped behind him. I started to fix his hair like he would do it for a show. With the bangs coming down at the right. I laughed at the fact I was on my toes trying to reach the top of his head.

"Your too tall" I laughed

He smiled.

"Have you eaten?" I queried

"Uhhh… yes." He claimed

"What did you eat?" I smiled

He hesitated before saying "I don't know"

I guided him to the kitchen and went inside the cupboard. There wasn't much in there at all. I grabbed the only soup there was left, Minstrone. I dumped it in a pot and heated it up. I walked over and sat beside Josh on the couch. I could tell he hadn't eaten. He was thin. The blade was still there on the coffee table.

"Why me?" I whimpered

He looked confused

"Why would you risk your life for me like that?" I croaked

"Because, you're just, I… love you. No one else but you. There's no point in living if your not there, right beside me."

I took and deep breath and walked back over to the soup. It was done. I got out a big bowl and dumped what could fit inside. I walked back over to the couch and handed him the bowl and spoon.

"What kind is this?" He pestered

"What does it matter? You're eating it!" I remarked

He poked it for a bit before I told him he better get eating it or I'll be making him eat more of it. He finally took a sip and scrunched up his face.

"Elchk" He squeaked

I laughed.

"It's not my fault, I was the only kind you had."

"Well that's 'cuz it tastes like shit!" He wailed

I couldn't stop laughing at his face. He was completely disgusted by the soup.

"Well, you'd better eat the stuff or else I'm not making anything for you again." I laughed

"Okay okay!" He rambled

I looked down at my phone and jumped up.

"I have to go!"

"Why?" he sounded depressed again

"I told Lexi I would be home before 9," I murmured

He put his bowl back down on the table and stood up struggling.

"Please don't go…" He prayed

"I'm sorry, I'll be back tomorrow, I promise." I gushed

"No… but what if you're not?" He started crying again

"I will, I promise." I stated "I'll be here right at 7am if you want!"

His face went back to the way it was when I came in and I hugged him

"Please don't be upset. I'll come back." I whispered

I pulled away and he looked at me, right at me, crying.

"Promise?" He whimpered

"Promise. 7am" I smiled

He kissed me on the forehead and held me close for a few more seconds. I walked out the door a few minutes later. I really wanted to stay, and take care of him, but I had to go. I couldn't stay. All the way home I was gleaming. I got back into the apartment that Lexi and I lived at. I put my things down and right away Lexi came running in.

"How was it?" She squealed

I smiled and laughed,

"Good"

"Awe! What happened? What did you say?" She nagged

I smiled and walked into the living room and sat down.

"Are you back together?" She yelled

"Umm, he wants to be, and I want to be, but I'm not sure if we should," I stated

"Awe! Did you guys talk about what happened? Is he okay?" She questioned

"He's in a lot of pain. The stitches were bleeding, and I had to change the gauze and all." I voiced

"Oh my god! That's adorable! Ella. You have to get back together! All those fans will kill you if he dies."

I shook my head. Why would he do that? Why would someone die for me?

"I'm going to see him again tomorrow, he wanted me to stay but I said I had to go."

"Awe! You should have stayed, I wouldn't have minded! You're so lucky, I wish I could find a guy like that Ella." Lexi

explained I smiled and got ready for bed. It was already 10pm and I was exhausted. Even though I was tired, I couldn't sleep. I wanted to be with Josh, make sure he was okay and, eating. Make sure he was alive. It was the hardest thing to do, leave him, but now he's back. What if he was hurt and needed me to be there. I sat in my bed and slowly waited for it to be 7am when I could see him again. 


	7. Chapter 7

**AN Sorry it took so long too put this chapter up. I've been sick and not writing :P anyway, enjoy! **

I didn't sleep at all that night. All I could think of was him. I thought of all the times we had, the time I first laid eyes on him. Everything. I couldn't leave that life.

I got up at 6:30 and drove over to his house. I got up to the elevator and unlocked the door to his apartment. I quietly walked in and started to look for him. He wasn't in the living room like before. I walked down the little hallway and found him in the music room. He was sitting on a small chair, with his guitar, playing the most beautiful melody.

"It's really good." I breathed

"It's for you." He purred

I smiled and sat on the piano chair.

He started, the melody, it was flawless. I could tell this song really meant a lot to him.

"So here's another day, I'll spend away from you,

Another night I'm on another broken avenue,

My bag is ripped and worn, then again so am I, take what you want to take

I miss the stupid things, we go to sleep and then, you wake me up and kick me out of bed at 3am

Pick up the phone and hear you saying dirty things to me, do what you want to do

Take me with you I start to miss you

Take me home I don't want to be alone tonight

And I do want to show you I will run to you, till I can't stand on my own anymore

I cross my heart and hope to die

I cross my heart and hope to die

I cross my heart and hope to

Hotels are all the same,

You're still away from me,

Another day another dollar that I'll never see

Can I get a piece of something good, I'd just like a little

I wonder what you're doing, I wonder if you doubt it

I wonder how we used to go so long without it

Now I know where I go, I'm coming back to you

I'll be where I otta be, where I otta be

Take me with you I start to miss you

Take me home I don't want to be alone tonight

And I do want to show you I will run to you, till I can't stand on my own anymore

I cross my heart and hope to die

Yea, take me with you I start to miss you

Take me with you I start to miss you

Take me with you I start to miss you

Take me with you I start to miss you

Take me with you I start to miss you

Take me with you I start to miss you

Take me with you I start to miss you

Take me home I don't want to be alone tonight

And I do want to show you I will run to you, till I can't stand on my own anymore

I cross my heart and hope to die

And I do want to show you I will run to you, till I can't stand on my own anymore

And I do want to show you I will run to you, till I can't stand on my own anymore

I cross my heart and hope to die"

"That was beautiful." I breathed

I stood up and hugged him.

"Please stay with me. I need you." He mumbled into my ear

I knew I really wanted to stay and take care of him. He needed me and I needed him.

"I…" I started

"Please" He begged in pain

"Yea, I will"

He held me closer and smiled.

"Come on, you need to rest." I mumbled

I guided him into the living room and laid him down on the couch. I walked over to the shelf beside the TV with the movies on it.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked

"Whatever you want, it doesn't matter to me."

I picked a random movie and put it in the DVD player. I looked back over at Josh. He was already half asleep, exhausted. I walked and grabbed the blanket at the end of the couch. It had always been there but I never really paid attention to it before. It had many colours; Pink, blue, yellow, green and was knitted. I went over to the other side of the couch and laid it on him. I laid down beside him and he turned and put his arm around me. I could feel him breathing on my neck. I turned around and looked at him. He looked awake now, and smiled.

"I missed you," I muttered

He brought me closer and I laid there with my head against his chest. My eyes got heavy and I slowly felt myself falling asleep in his arms.

I woke up and Josh was sleeping. I looked up at him and just smiled. I knew he had trouble sleeping so I just laid there for a bit and waited. His arms were still wrapped around me and he wasn't letting go.

All of a sudden he took a deep breath and pulled me closer. I looked up at him and smiled

"You slept." I cooed

He moaned and I got up. I walked into the kitchen and got my phone out of my purse. It was almost three in the afternoon. I walked back into the living room.

"Well, if I'm staying we should go get my stuff then, right?" I smiled

I could tell he had been waiting for me to tell him that all day.

"Yes" He gleamed

He got off the couch and went down the hall, probably to get his phone. He came back a little bit later looking just like usual. Just like he did when I met him; all dressed up and smiling. He went into the closet and grabbed his grey converse with the blue trim around the sides. He was ready and stood up. I looked up at him and smiled. Things were better now, back to normal.

We got out of the apartment and into the parking lot

"Were taking my car." I stated

"You got a car?" He wondered

"Yep! I love it!"

We kept walking until we got to the car. It was a bright blue Cadillac. I got in and I could tell but the way Josh got in the car, he was impressed.

"This is rad!" He exclaimed

I started the car and Josh watched the G.P.S. screen light up automatically. He went to touch a button and I stopped him.

"You break it, you're in trouble," I warned

He smiled and sat back in the seat.

"How far do you guys live from here?" He wondered

"Not far, five minutes tops," I babbled

We didn't say much until we got to the main intersection just around the corned from Josh's.

"What happened when I was in the hospital?" He asked "I mean, my mom said you were there."

"Yea, at first, I was assigned your chart but I gave it to Lexi to take care of you." I mentioned

"Who was the girl that was there when I woke up then? I remember taking to someone."

"That was Lexi." I exclaimed

"Really? Wow. She looked different from when I last saw her." He rambled

I smiled and kept on driving, we were almost there. We pulled in and I walked over and helped Josh out of the car. He wasn't in much pain anymore; he just wasn't able to move around a lot. I held his hand all the way to Lexis' door. I used the key I still had and opened it.

"Hello!" I yelled as we walked in

"Hi!" She yelled from the other room

I took my shoes off and walked Josh into the living room where Lexi was. She was watching TV, still in her PJ's.

She looked up and noticed I was with Josh.

"Hi Josh! How are you feeling?"

"Fine" He exclaimed as he squeezed my hand tighter.

"I'm going to go and get my things then." I exclaimed

I went up the stairs leaving Josh down with Lexi. I had already told her earlier I was coming over to get my things but I don't think she expected Josh to be here. I ran into my room and started to gather my things. It didn't take me long to find a bag in the room and get all my things inside. I walked back out with all my things and set them by the door.

"So what have you been doing?" I laughed

I went and sat beside Josh.

"Nothing. Just watching TV and stuff, the usual." Lexi giggled, "So, you guys are back together?"

"Yep." I stated

"Yay! Awe you guys are so perfect! It's so cute! I love it!" She squeaked

Her smile faded into a frown as she realized I was leaving to the car, leaving josh behind. I took as many bags as I could into my hands and brought them to the trunk. I came back into the apartment once again, and claimed the rest of the bags. I walked back into the living room and Lexi stood up. I Went over and hugged her.

"Thanks for everything, Josh too, for helping him." I whispered

"It was no problem, he's really good to you, and it's worth it to see a smile on your face."

I pulled away and she went and hugged Josh.

"Thank you, keeping her safe, everything" I could hear Josh say

Lexi mumbled something back but I couldn't make out what it was. They pulled away from each other and Josh sat down and got his shoes on. We got all our things and I helped Josh out to the car. I don't think he was paying much attention to the roads or he would know we weren't taking the way home. I was going to take him to the studio so he can write. I pulled into the parking lot and put the car into park.

"What are we doing here?" Josh asked

"Matt told me weren't doing anything, or recording, so you're here to do just that!" I smiled

'I can always do this later"

"No" I interrupted "You're doing it now."  
"But it's my first night with you back; I don't want you to leave"

"Who said anything about me leaving, I have to stay to make sure you're doing the song!"

"But I need the guys here with me." He stated

"No you don't, you can do an acoustic or something"

I dragged him inside and sat him down

"I've got all night" I smiled

He moaned and then smiled

"What if I just did cross my heart?" He stated "Would that count?"

I laughed

"Yea, that counts"

He stood up, grabbed a guitar and walked into the enclosed room. I was admiring the many buttons then realized I didn't know which ones I was supposed to be pushing. I followed Josh into the room and asked him

"What buttons do I push?"

"Oh shit, I forgot about that, don't touch anything!" He set the guitar down and walked back out. He slid up the dials that must have changed volume and all. He clicked a whole bunch of buttons, till there were glowing green.

"Only push this one, when I say"

The minute josh turned around to go back into the enclosed room I pushed a button. It was just too tempting. He turned around because he heard me push it.

"Don't. Touch." He urged

He gave me a very stern look and went into the room once again. He sat down and put the headphones on. He got the guitar all hooked up and signaled for me to push the button. I pushed it and half the lights on the panel lit up. My eyes popped open and I freaked out. I thought I had broken it. I looked up and Josh was tuning the guitar he was about to use. I banged on the window and he looked up.

"I don't know what I'm doing" I said

He probably couldn't even hear what I was saying but he could tell by the expression on my face that I needed help. He looked annoyed and got up. He came back and looked at the whole panel

"It looks fine, that's what's supposed to happen when you click it." He informed "anything else?"

"Uh, no, I think I got it" I exclaimed

He went in the room once more and signaled me to click the button. I did this time, knowing what was going to happen to all the other lights. He started singing and I watched as the little bars as they went up and down as his voice went higher or lower. I looked over at all the buttons and the dials on the big recording table. How could someone know what all these did? Who in there right mind would take the time to know what the buttons do? I didn't even notice when Josh was done the song. He came out and sat in a chair that was in front of the whole panel. I sat down on the comfy couch against the wall behind him. He started to replay the song and the guitar part so he could fit them together.

"Want to see how I do it?" He asked

"Um… sure" I mumbled

I got up and pulled another chair beside his. He showed me how they fit the guitar and singing part of the song together, then they add certain things and lower or raise the voice to make it sound better. He finally finished the whole song and I was exhausted. It must have been at least seven.

"There, it's done!" Josh exclaimed

"Great, let's go home" I sputtered

"Don't you want to hear it?"

"Oh yea, sure"

He played me the song and it sounded really good.

"I was thinking, we could get the band in here and record the guitar, bass and drums for it and make it have more of a beat, you know?"

"Yep."

It had been a long day and I was practically half asleep. My eyes were getting heavy already and it wasn't even that late. He smiled

"You're tired, aren't you?"

I mumbled and he wrapped my coat around me.

"I'll drive you home" He voiced

"I swear, if you even dent my car…" I started

"I won't! I won't! I swear!"

I mumbled and got in the passenger side door. I had almost fallen asleep in the car but Josh kept me up. We got home and he got out and guided me up the elevator, into the apartment and into bed. I fell right asleep.

I woke up and Josh was on the couch beside the bed with the laptop. He must have brought it in from the living room and was sitting there on twitter.

"Morning" He cheered

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was 6am. I had always hated going to bed too early then getting up early as well. Josh on the other hand never slept, at least, I hardly ever saw him sleep. I picked myself up, keeping the blanket wrapped around me and went over and sat beside him.

"Do you have to work today?" He asked

I nodded and moaned.

"Not till noon though," I stated

He nodded and kept checking tweets and replying to fans. I sat there for a bit. He could sit on that computer all day just watching his stupid videos with the people that do stupid things. He thinks they're hilarious. I got up and made breakfast. It seemed like I had been here the whole time, like I never left. After breakfast I went and showered and got everything ready so I wouldn't have to rush to work. It was still only ten. I had to leave around eleven thirty so I still had lots of time. I walked out into the living room at maybe sit and watch some TV. I walked over to the couch and I saw a glimpse of Josh in the kitchen. I didn't really know what he was doing. I walked in and he was bent over trying to drink some coke zero.

"What the hell are you doing?" I wondered

He stood up and hiccuped. It was a really high-pitched hiccup though. I hadn't heard one like it before. Then he would jump.

"Fuck!" He yelled, "They don't go away!"

I laughed and took the coke from his hands and went to the sink

"First, you're supposed to be drinking water…" I started

I spilt the rest of the coke down the drain and grabbed a new glass and started to full it with water.

"Hey! I could have finished that." He moaned then hiccuped once again.

I walked over and handed him the glass. He bent over and tried to drink it again but it just ended up on his face, and the floor. He stood up with water all in his eyes. I laughed

"No, your still not doing it right."

I took the glass and showed him how to drink the water upside down. He attempted again and this time did better, but there was still a puddle of it in the floor. He stood up and smiled. He thought they were gone, but the second he went to say they were he hiccuped again.

"Uugghhhh!" He moaned

He grabbed the glass out of my hand did the same thing again, drinking it upside down. Then he hiccuped. He was still drinking the water though so it went everywhere. He stood up really frustrated, put the glass into the sink and went out to the couch into the living room. I cleaned up the mess and walked out after him. I sat down and he hiccuped again.

"Why do you hiccup?" He asked curious

I laughed, "Um, they happen when you eat or drink to fast. Your stomach, becomes larger and bothers your diaphragm. It makes your diaphragm contract, and then you breathe in and hiccup."

It looked like he didn't understand a thing I said.

"You ate too fast so now you're hiccuping." I laughed, "Get it?"

"Holy shit!" He sounded amazed, "Don't let anyone ever tell you you're stupid," He laughed

I giggled and we just sat there and watched TV for a bit. It was really quiet and then there would be this random 'chirp' from Josh. I didn't want to laugh at him because I could tell he hated it, but it was really hard. Then it was silent.

"I don't want to jinx it but… I think they're gone," He whispered

"Why are you whispering?" I laughed

"I don't know, I swear if I hiccup again," He exclaimed

He sat there for a bit staring at something behind he. He looked like he was in a daze, waiting for the hiccup to happen. There was like a whole minute of dead silence.

"Okay, I think they're gone" I laughed

He stood up

"Good, I fucking hate hiccups"

_**Want to hear the song that Josh wrote for Ella? Go you YouTube and put in 'Cross My Heart acoustic Marianas Trench' **_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Hey Everyone! Thanks o much for all the amazing reviews! The more we get the more we want to write. lol I updated my profile as well this week so if you have any idea/suggestions for the story please feel free to tell me! Thanks._**

**_Also, i kinda ran out of time to edit this.. normally Emma and i both edit before we put it up. So i wouldn't be supprised if there were a few mistakes._**

**_Have Fun Reading. This is one of my favourite chapters._**

He went back into he kitchen and grabbed his bottle of coke out of the fridge. It seemed that's all he ever drank. The day went on as usual and work went fine. As the day came to an end I became very exhausted. I could barely make it up to the top floor of our apartment. I stumbled through the door and put all my things down at once. I walked down the hall and saw Josh to the right, in the kitchen. He was making something, I didn't even pay attention to what it was, and I was so tired. I stumbled over and rested my head on the side of his arm and closed my eyes.

"You're tired," He laughed

I moaned and he turned around to look at me. He hugged me for a minute and I rested my head on his chest.

"If you're really tired you should go to bed." He said sweetly

I moaned again and hugged him tighter, I didn't want to move.

"Carry me." I persisted

He stopped hugging me and I felt his hand at my back and the other by my knees. He picked my knees up and brought me up to his chest. It was like I was being carried like a child. I slowly lifted my arms to go around his neck as he moved to the bedroom. I was already half asleep when he got to the bed. He slowly lifted me down to the unmade bed and let go. I didn't unlock my arms from around his neck though, I didn't want to.

"Hey," He whispered

"Lay down with me?" I moaned

I let my arms loose around his neck as he bent down to kiss my forehead. He sighed

"Fine, for you."

I smiled and pulled the sheets up as he walked around the other side of the bed. I felt him get in and I moved over to face him. He put his arms around me like a big bear hug. I nuzzled my head right at his neck and finally started to fall asleep.

"Good night," He whispered, "Love you."

I woke up in the morning and Josh was there, on the laptop, like usual. This was the first Monday I had off in ages. I got up and sat beside like I usually did.

"Can we go somewhere today?" I moaned "I mean, I probably wont get another day off in a while."

"Yea, whatever you want! What do you want to do?" He cheered

"I don't know," I mumbled

I got up to go and make some breakfast. As I was walking to the kitchen the window caught my eye.

"The beach!" I yelled

It was august and I hadn't been to a beach yet and I had lived here for almost a year now. Soon it would be September and it would get way to cold.

"The beach?" Josh exclaimed as he walked into the room

I was kneeling on the couch looking out the window.

"I haven't been to one single beach here, ever!"

"Okay, I guess." He answered

I walked back into the room and looked for my bathing suit. It had to be here somewhere. I finally found it after searching though piles of clothes. I went into the bathroom and tried it on to make sure it fit and sure enough, it didn't. I got my things back on and walked out to the living room.

"This doesn't fit"

"What?" Josh asked

"The bikini."

"Oh" He exclaimed "Before we go to get a new one or whatever, I have to go to the studio too"

I got myself ready to go out, ate and we left the apartment around noon. We drove to the studio and Josh got out quick to grab a few things. Then we were off to the mall!

"What store in the mall sells bikini's?" Josh asked as we got out the car

"Bikini Village!" I cheered

"Oh god…" He moaned

We walked into the crowed mall and I found my way to the bikini store. Josh looked really uncomfortable as we walked in. The first thing that caught my eye was the bikini on display. It was bright blue and it reminded me of Josh's hair.

"Oh hey! Welcome to bikini village! How are you today?" The man that work there exclaimed

He was wearing a pink v-neck with yellow skinny jeans. I heard Josh snickering and I turned around and glared at him. He was probably laughing at the fact the man looked gay. He stopped immediately.

"I'm very good!" I cheered

"Do you like this one?" He wondered

"Yea, I do!"

"Okay, do you want to try it on? What's your size?" The man asked

"Um, I don't really know, my last one was a 5 but it's too big."

"Okay! We'll get you fitted!" He gleamed

He picked one up and started walking to the change rooms. Josh and I followed.

"What does that mean?" Josh whispered

"Don't worry about it, it'll be fine." I whispered back

We got to the change rooms and he opened one up for me. He passed me the suit and shut the door. As I was slipping on I couldn't help but wonder if Josh was verbally abusing the guy. I walked out fixing the top.

"The top is way too small," I exclaimed

The man examined it.

"And the bottoms?" He persisted

"Perfect! They fit fine!"

"Turn."

I smiled and turned around. As I was turning I caught Josh's mouth dropping open. He covered it with his hand and sat there, wide eyed. I smiled even more and the man smiled

"Your right! You just need another size bigger for the top." He agreed

He walked back to the front of the store and the second he was just out of site I looked at josh.

"Holy shit. That's what fitted meant?" Josh fussed

"Uh yea, it's fine."

"Uh, no! Do you not see what he's doing?"

"Helping?" I smiled

"More like checking you out! That's my job!" He smirked

"I got your size!" He gay man cheered as he skipped to the dressing room.

I pointed my finger towards Josh "Shut. Up."

The man came back and handed me the new top and I walked back into the change room. This top felt much better. I was still smiling at the fact Josh was probably out there giving the man dirty looks. I walked back out and faced the man.

"Fits much better" I exclaimed smiling

"Mmmmmhh" He mumbled

The man asked me to turn around and I was facing Josh. He moved closer and I felt him touch the sides of the straps. He wanted to see how tight it was around my chest. I smiled at Josh; he looked really uncomfortable. One of his hands was clenched tight and the other was covering his mouth. The man took his hands off me and cheered

"Perfect! Do you like it?"

"Yes" I smiled

I walked over to the tall mirror, turned, and looked at myself in the mirror.

"It's Perfect." I cheered, "I'll take it"

The man smiled

"Great!"

I walked back into the change room and I got my things back on. When I walked out Josh was standing right there.

"I didn't like that" Josh mumbled

"Relax, he's not, how do I put this, into girls…"

"That's probably what you want him to think."

I shook my head and got to the counter. The man ringed it in and we paid for it. He put it in the bag and smiled

"Have a nice day!"

"Ha" Josh mumbled as we walked away

I looked over and hit him in the stomach.

"Shut. Up."

We walked back though the mall and Josh had his arm around me. I shook my head and kept walking until we got to the car.

"Remind me never to go with you to do that again!" He stated, "That was so uncomfortable, I could have hit him."

"Oh, I'm sure." I said sarcastically

I drove us back to the apartment so we could eat and get our stuff ready. I got in the doors and went right to the bathroom. I got the suit on and stood there to try to fix my hair. Some parts of my hair wasn't on the right side. It finally straightened it to the right side and started on my makeup. I washed my face and started putting the waterproof makeup on. I heard a slight movement close by. I looked over and Josh was standing there leaning against the door.

"Watcha doing?" He giggled

"Makeup." I answered

"I wish you could see how incredible you are." He said lovingly

"I think you're full of it."

"Awe, no. Why would you think that?"

"No reason, are you ready to go?"

"Yep, all set."

"And that's what you're wearing…"

"Um, yea." He mumbled

"You do know it's a beach right?"

"Yep!"  
"And you're completely aware that you're wearing skinny jeans and a sweatshirt?"

"Yea."

"I'm forcing you into the water, so unless you want those pants smelling like the ocean, you'd better change."

"We'll see about that!"

I finished up and we loaded our stuff into the car. It wasn't much longer until we got to the beach. I jumped out of the car and walked around back to get the blanket. We walked out and I found a nice sunny spot. I took my shoes off and laid them on the blanket. I started walking towards the water. The sand was so warm and fine. I looked back and I saw Josh getting ready to sit down on the blanket. I turned around and started walking back towards him.

"You're getting in the water"

He shook his head and laid down, getting comfortable. He had his Coke 0 and his $400 dollar sunglasses on. I stood at the edge of the blanket

"Get up"

"Make me." He teased

"Fine."

I quickly grabbed his half drunken coke and ran towards the water. I was half way there and he had managed to get up and start walking towards me. I ran more, into the water. It was warm, not too cold. I got about knee deep and looked around at him again. He was just getting to the water's edge. I held the coke from the cap and put the bottom of it into the water.

"Come get it." I smiled

"No, give it back, you've crossed the line." He said sternly

I shook my head and grabbed the cap and undid it. I tipped the coke bottle slowly, as if to spill it into the water

"Don't you dare." he warned

"Oh, but I will."

The coke inside slowly got closer to the cap and started to drip out.

"No!" Josh wined

He put one foot in the water, still just staring at the coke.

"Come and get it."

He took another step forward and started for me. I stopped pouring the coke in the water and smiled at him. Then all of a sudden he came right at me. Fast. I ran as fast as I could, which wasn't fast enough. He grabbed onto me, and the coke. I got out of his grip and kicked some water at him. He squeaked and kicked some at me. I backed away trying to get the water of myself. Josh put his hand in the water and grabbed something. He lifted it up and moved closer to me. It was a piece of seaweed. I screamed and ran out of the water. I got to the shore, fully soaked. Josh followed and got out of the water.

"Don't." I begged, "Please"

Everything stopped and he put the seaweed down. He came towards me and took my hand. In his other hand still was his beloved coke. We were both soaked but he was wearing his clothes. We walked along the beach for a bit. I shook my head

"What?" He asked

"You and your frigging coke."

He laughed, "It's my addiction."

"I can see that, and the sunglasses?"

"Yea, I'm not so good with money. In case you haven't noticed." He smiled wide

I giggled and kept walking. It was beautiful out. The sun was high and hot. I could feel its rays on my shoulders. We turned around and started walking the opposite direction towards our things. It was quiet, we dint say much. We got closer to our things and by this time Josh had almost consumed the whole coke. I felt Josh's hand grow tighter until he turned around and looked down at me. He lifted his hand and moved it through my hair. He kissed me, but something was wrong. It wasn't right, I could tell. He then hugged me, close.

"What is it?" I asked curiously

"Nothing,"

He hugged me closer

"Josh?"

I pushed away and looked at him. He was staring behind me, into the distance.

"Is there something there?"

I stared at him; I didn't want to look back.

"Josh?"

He shook his head and we kept walking. This time he put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and closer. I kept hearing people behind us and I figured that was what he had been looking at. I turned around to see a large group of jocks. It felt like high school all over again. They saw me look back and the one in front whistled. Josh pulled me closer once again and we kept walking, almost at a fasted pace now. The men were tall, the typical jock, only probably our age. Josh and I got closer to our blanket and I sat down when we got there. The guys stayed a distance away, but not too far so they could still watch us.

"Are you going to sit down?"

He sat down beside me and just looked at me. I smiled and just stared at our face. I wanted to laugh because it was almost as if he was intimidated by them, but it wasn't that. He almost looked sad. I didn't even care that there were people behind us, I focused on him, and I needed to figure out what was wrong.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked

"No, I mean," he paused

"Kinda, but if you want to stay, er, I wanted to take you out here and have a good time but,"

He stopped; I looked at him and smiled.

"We can go, I don't mind."

I stood up and Josh got up as well. He picked up all the other things we brought to the beach, like the towels and coke.

"I'll get the blanket and meet you at the car." I said

He walked over and kissed my forehead. It still wasn't right though, it seemed he was doing this to make sure those stupid jocks knew we were together. Still, I felt a smile grow on my face and I knelt down again to fold up the blanket. The sun was still warm on my shoulders until someone touched it. I turned

"Hey babe." Said the jock

He was tall, like Josh, short hair. It almost seemed as if he worked out everyday, he was buff. I didn't respond.

"S'at your boyfriend?" He asked

"Yea," I stated, "What do you want?"

I was starting to get upset. They had been bothering Josh and I and I just wanted them to go away.

"Ew." He mumbled

"What? What's wrong with him?"

"Oh, nothing, if your into fat girls." He pestered

"Excuse me? You wanna say that again?"

As I yelled I stepped closer and closer to his face, even on my toes. I stepped back and looked to see if Josh was coming back at all.

"You know what?" I screamed, "You've got a lot of ball coming here and just attacking him like that!"

The jock turned to look at his friends, watching contently.

"Ohhh damn, that's hot."

He smiled and went to put his arm around me.

"Get off me!"

I pushed his hand away, and started walking away.

"You are sick! No girl would ever fall for you! Discussing!"

At this point I was screaming and people were looking. I took a beep breath and started to walk back to the car where I knew Josh would be waiting. As I walked he hummed. I turned once more.

"Shut the fuck up and leave me alone!" I yelled

I passed back but noticed Josh walking towards me just as I finished yelling. I walked towards him and he was watching the jock walk back, furious. Josh started to walk past me and go to talk to him; I grabbed his arm and pulled him closer.

"It's not worth it" I mumbled

"Did he hurt you" Josh said firmly

"No, I'm fine." Leave him."

Josh came closer and hugged me. He was still facing the jocks, probably giving them a dirty look.

"Lets go" I whispered

_**Please please REVIEW! :)**_


	9. Chapter 9

Hello again! We have been writing a lot slower lately and so Emma and I were talking and next weeks chapter might end up being a little late. We have a lot of stuff going on right now in school and all and hardly ever have time for writing. So we're gonna try to work really really hard to get caught up… Have fun with this chapter! :D

I held his hand and we walked the rest of the way to the car. The whole ride in the car was silent. He didn't say a word. We got all the way to the apartment and josh went right to the music room. I knew I should just leave him for a while because he normally vented his feelings and all in there. I got all our stuff put away, and found josh's coke on the counter. I picked it up and walked to the music room.

"You forgot this" I hummed

I smiled and went to sit beside him on the piano chair. He was just sitting there staring at the keys.

"Play me something!" I cheered

He started 'beside You'. It was perfect, then he missed a key and stopped.

"What's wrong?" I asked

It was silent for minutes

"Was it those jocks?"

He just sat and then looked up at me.

"You deserve better," He mumbled

I could barley understand but I heard him.

"What?"

He looked down and I moved his face up to see mine.

"You're more than I ever wanted." I smiled

"But those other guys, they're, I'm, "

"You're gorgeous."

"Josh,"

"It's just, you're beautiful, and I'm…"

"No, don't say it!" I said, "You're perfect"

He put his head down once again and helplessly stared at the keys.

"You don't need to, I don't know, I love you for what's inside, not out. I mean, you're not ugly." I tried to explain

He sat there doing the same, staring into the distance

"You would probably much rather be seen with that jock." He mumbled

"Um, no. I wouldn't. He wouldn't treat me the way you do. And plus, he was ugly" I paused "You treat people right."

"But," he interrupted

"Josh," I smiled "I love you, okay?" I paused "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Without you, if I never met you, I wouldn't be nearly as happy as I am now."

He finally turned and looked at me. I smiled

"I want you just the way you are. Come on." I gleamed

I stood up and put my hand out for him to take it. He stood up and looked down at me. I wrapped my arms around him and stood there for a bit. He pulled away and smiled.

"I love you." I whispered

He smiled even bigger,

"I love you too"

I took him out to the living room and he sat down to watch TV while I went to put the rest of the things away. After I finally got everything away I went over and sat beside him.

"Do we have to watch this?" I moaned

"No"

I looked around and saw the xbox.

"Let's play a game…" I exclaimed

"Like?"

I walked up beside the TV where the games were stored.

"What's the best game?" I questioned

"Hands down, Need for Speed"

I finally found the game and put it in the gaming console and walked back over to Josh on the couch.

"Okay, you're going to have to teach me how to do this..." I confessed

"Don't worry I'm a pro." He bragged

He pulled out the two controllers. Of course, one was blue, he kept that one to himself, and I got the white one.

"How come your controller is so special?"

"Because it's my x box." He pried

He pulled up the menu and started flipping through the levels. He picked the easiest one just for me. He slid across the couch and settled beside me. I looked over at his remote and he showed me the controls.

"This one" He pointed to the A on my remote, "Is to make the car go."

I nodded and he continued telling me the other controls for the driving the car; the gas, brake, and different tricks.

"I think I got it." I mumbled

He highlighted the START button on the screen.

"You ready?" He asked

"Yep!"

He clicked it and the TV screen was split in two. I saw the cars lined up and the time at the top.

"Wait! What side am I on?" I yelled

"Right! Right!"

I watched as the time went 3-2-1 GO! I pushed the gas button and started using the analog stick to steer my car.

"Hey! Someone hit me! Oh my god, the remote vibrated!"

I don't even think he was paying any attention to me at all he was so focused on the game.

"Do I just hit all the other cars?"

I looked over at Josh and he was frozen still, just staring at the TV. He didn't move a muscle, just his fingers. I continued and I finally got the hang of it. I still wasn't first but I just hit all the other cars to get in front of them. I laughed as they went flying off the road and I kept going, one place closer to the finish. Car by car I hit.

"What the fuck? That guy just hit my car!" Josh yelled

"Woops, sorry!" I smiled

I was ahead of Josh now, 1st place. He was mad. I could hear him hitting the buttons really hard, thinking they will work better the harder he pushed. I smiled even more; I didn't know I would ever beat someone the first time I play a game. Josh looked so frustrated, it was funny.

"I think I'm beating you!" I cheered

I kept going along the track the way I had before only there weren't any cars left on the road. I turned the corner and saw the white and black lines on the road; the finish line. I quickly raced across and won.

"Yay! Did I win?" I cheered once again

"Uh huh." Josh moaned, "How did you, again?"

"Uh, no" I laughed, "I don't want to, I'll watch you though if you want."

"Kay"

I leaned back and watched as he picked the type of course and all for himself. He still seemed frustrated I won the game. I was watching him do the more 'challenging' round. He was about halfway though when I heard a noise coming from outside. I turned around and looked out the window. Right in the middle was the biggest spider ever. It was one of those ones that give you nightmares. I jumped up and yelped. Josh stopped immediately and put his remote down. The game was still going, and Josh looked at me and laughed,

"What's wrong with you?"

"Spider!" I yelled

I pointed behind him and he turned around.

"Oh shit!" He yelled

He jumped up as well and came over to me, 15ft away from the couch.

"Kill it!" I screamed

"Uh, no, you do it, that thing is fucking huge!" He explained

"Please!" I cried

It was so gross, I wanted to run into another room but then, I wanted to stay to make sure it didn't go anywhere. It started to climb up the window and close to the top of the wall.

"Man Up!" I yelled

Josh was standing right beside me so I moved over and stood behind him.

"It's beast! I'm not touching that!" He exclaimed

The spider moved up the wall, it was now in the corner of the wall and ceiling. It stopped and sat there for a bit. I walked into our room and grabbed a book. Neither of us had ever read and we probably wouldn't ever anyway.

"Here kill it with this." I suggested

"Um, no, what if it falls?"

"Just kill it!" I grumbled

He very slowly walked up to the wall and moved to stand on the couch. He stood on the armrest and reached over. He got the book close to it and the spider moved.

"Holy Shit!" He screamed

He jumped and nearly fell off the couch. He just touched the side of the bug and it fell off the ceiling onto the carpet. Josh threw the book across the room and jumped off the couch over to me.

"Fuck! Where is it?"

I walked over and found it on the carpet, slowly making its way over to us.

"This is ridiculous." I said

I walked over and grabbed the book. I went over to the spider and threw the book at it. It landed right on the bug, and I walked over and stood on it. I looked over at josh and smiled.

"You're such a wuss." I complained

I took my foot off the book and picked up the book expecting to see it the spider, mangled. It was still alive and moving and I jumped.

"Oh my god!" I yelled

It still hadn't died and I was terrified. I put the book on it again and again but the bug would just sink into the carpet. I looked back and josh as standing there, just watch me struggling to kill it. Then out of nowhere Tux came and pounced on the spider. I looked away disgusted and when I looked back over the spider was gone. Gone. The cat walked away looking very proud of himself.

I looked at him and shook my head.  
"You need to be a man!" I smiled  
"Love you." he giggled  
I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. About 15 minutes later there was banging on the door  
"Police! Is everything okay in there?"  
My eyes widened and I looked at Josh.  
"what did you do?" I mumbled  
"uh, nothing, I swear." he confessed  
I walked over to the door and opened it. It was the police. There were two of them and they looked mad, but they all do.  
"We had some complaints of banging and yelling in here. Is everything okay?"  
"yes! We're fine!" I giggled, "there was a spider and we kind of, didn't want to kill it"  
"we?" they asked,  
"Yea, my boyfriend Josh, he's too chicken to kill a spider." I smiled  
"oh, are you sure you're okay Madame?"  
They looked at something or me like I had been beaten.  
"Yes. I'm fine"  
Josh came up behind me and wrapped his arm around me. I looked back and he looked like he was ready to defend himself.  
"Everything okay?" he mumbled  
I nodded and the police looked at me with sympathetic eyes. They looked really surprised at the way Josh looked.  
"Okay, call us if you ever need any help." they smiled  
I nodded and shut the door. I turned around and Josh was standing right there staring at me. I looked him right into his eyes and shoved him.  
"Look at what you did! Now the neighbours hate us!"  
He caught his balance and smiled. I shook my head and went to the kitchen and grabbed some food. It was almost 6 and I was already hungry. I went back to our bedroom and turned on the TV in there. We never usually watched it but I wanted to lie down while watching TV. I got the remote and laid down on the bed. I tuned the TV on and flipped threw the channels. Josh came in and laid beside me. There was nothing on TV. I moaned and turned to my side to look at him. I smiled and he smiled back. He was laying flat on the bed just looking over at me.  
"Nothing on TV?" he asked  
I shook my head and kissed him. He had his hand on my cheek and it slowly moved back to my hair.  
"I could hold you forever" he whispered  
I smiled even bigger and laid my head down on his chest. I stared and looked at the ceiling then looked back down at his arm. I moved over and rested my head on my hand. I looked at the tattoo on his right arm. It was so strange looking. I remember the time on the plane when he told me all about them. I traced each line, over and over.  
"Should I get a tattoo?" I asked,  
"Um, you can do whatever you want. I'm not going to stop you"  
"I just don't know what I would get."  
I looked over at him. He was staring at me just smiling.  
"What?" I asked  
"nothing" he smiled  
I caught a glimpse of his tongue ring.  
"Did that hurt?" I wondered  
"What?" he asked  
I stuck out my tongue and pointed at it.  
"Um, not really." he mumbled  
I smiled and he kissed my forehead. He sat up and turned to look at me. He moved his arms to either side of my shoulders. I looked up at him and he knelt down to kiss me once more.  
"What are you doing" I giggled  
"Kissing my girlfriend, is there something wrong with that?"  
"No" I laughed  
He kissed me again and then sat up. I sat up aswell and put my arms around him.  
"Love you." I smiled  
I kissed him and went to get up.  
"I need to get ready for bed. I have to get up early tomorrow."  
He held my waist like he didn't want me to leave.  
"Josh."  
He let go and I stood up and got dressed and ready for bed. When I came back Josh was laying down watching TV. I pulled the sheets up and laid inside them. Josh moved over and wrapped his arms around me. I put my hand over his and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning to Josh on the laptop, as usual. I sat up in bed and stretched.  
"What do you have to work today?" Josh asked  
I looked over at the time and realized it was 8:30am.  
"Holy Crap! I have to be at work at 9! Shit!"  
I shot up out of bed and got to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I was in such a rush. I threw on my scrubs and started getting my shoes and coat on. By now Josh had moved to the couch and was watching the TV intently.  
"Okay, bye!" I rushed  
"wait!" Josh yelled, "You forgot something!"  
"Really? What?"  
He came from around the corner, just walking.  
"Josh, I need to go, what?"

He finally got up to me and very lightly pushed my chin up, and looked into my eyes  
"I love you."

He then lent in and kissed me lightly. I smiled and turned around.

"I love you too, but I really got to go." I gushed

He just stood there and smiled

"Bye"


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry its been a while, but here it is! Please Please review! Love to hear feedback **

I got through the day and finally got myself home. Josh was still sitting on the same couch he was sitting at when I left. I walked into the living room and he looked over.  
"Have you been sitting there all day?" I exclaimed.  
He just smiled and looked back at the TV.  
"Give me your phone."  
"Why?" He asked.  
"Give me your phone!" I persisted.  
He lent over and pulled his phone out of his back pocket and handed it to me. I went into the contact list and phoned Matt, Ian and Mike. It turned out they were all doing nothing today and could go to the studio!  
"Okay, get your stuff on." I ordered.  
"No," He whined, "Why?"  
"The guys are meeting you at the studio. Come on, get your things on."  
He grunted and I took his hand and pulled him up.  
"I'll drive you there" I smiled, "Make sure you get there."  
He made his way over to get his shoes on and grab his things. We were walking down the hallway and just about to get in the elevator.  
"Shit, I need my music," He muttered.  
I felt for my keys in my purse and gave them to him. I walked back and stood in the doorway, waiting. Then, I heard giggling from the other room.  
"Oh my, Ella, come here." He laughed.  
I started walking over.  
"If you're trying to stall it's not working." I told him.  
He was in the bedroom.  
"Come and see."  
I walked over and he pointed into the drawer. I moved closer to see and it was Tux. He had been sleeping in there.  
"Awe," I cooed.  
I petted him and he just laid there, comfy.  
"That lucky bastard!" He mumbled, "He gets to rest all fucking day!"  
I took Josh's arm and pulled it lightly to signal him we needed to leave.  
"Wait!"  
He stopped and pulled out his phone. He took a picture of him in the drawer. I shook my head and we left, finally. We got out to the car and drove to the studio. It wasn't far from the apartment.  
"Have fun!" I sang out.  
He groaned and got out of the car.  
"Come with me?" He pleaded.  
"Um, no, I've actually worked all day! You sat around all day"  
"Please?" He asked again.  
There was something about those eyes that just made me always fall for him.  
"Fine! Only for 10 minutes. Then I'm going home to rest!"  
He smiled and I got out of the car. He took my hand and we got into the studio. Matt, Mike, and Ian were already there getting all set up.  
"Hi Ella!" They all cheered.  
"Hi guys," I chirped.  
I sat down on a chair. I watched as they all caught up on each other's gossip and got started. I sat there on my phone, occasionally looking up to see them. It had almost been 10 minutes and I got ready to leave. Josh was in the small room helping Ian with the drums and instructing him on how to do something. I knocked on the glass and waved.  
"Bye" I mouthed  
The other guys, Matt and Mike were having some sort of competition on this game thing they had in there. Josh immediately stopped and came out to say bye. He came out and hugged me goodbye.  
"When will you be done?" I asked, his arms still around my waist.  
"Um, I'll call, or text you. It depends on how people use their time to get things done."  
He looked over at Mike and Matt and they were already looking back at us.  
"Okay, just not too late or I'll be sleeping, and you'll have to walk home."  
The others giggled and then focused back onto their game. I undid myself from his grip and grabbed my purse.  
"Bye" I laughed  
I walked out and got home. It was so quiet. I took the time to clean the apartment a little and relax. Whenever Josh is home he always wants to be right by my side, so now I had some time to myself. I sat down and started a movie. I felt myself falling asleep. I knew I had to stay up to get Josh's call, but it was really hard. I forced myself up and I got my PJ pants on. I went back to the couch and checked my phone. No missed calls. I laid back down and continued the movie. It was getting really late and I was exhausted. I started to fall asleep and I knew I should get up and jump around or something but I couldn't. I was too tired.  
I woke up and remembered about Josh. I ran to my phone. 3 missed calls.  
"Shit!" I muttered.  
I immediately called him back.  
"Hello?" He answered.  
"Hi, I fell asleep…" I giggled.  
He laughed.  
"Anyway, want me to come or have you started walking yet?"  
"Oh, no, I'm not walking, were still in the studio, but were just finishing up."  
"Okay, I'm on my way." I replied.  
"Love you."  
"Love you too, bye."  
I quickly got my things on and left. I got to the studio and the guys were all crowded around the game.  
"Where's Josh?" I asked  
They all still had their faces glued to the game,  
"Out back"  
I walked out and there was Josh, talking with a few of people, all having a smoke.  
"Hi" I interrupted  
He put his smoke down and came over.  
"Did you get lots done?" I asked  
He put his arm around my waist and he walked back into the studio. He got his things on and we got out to the car.  
"It looks like you're already for bed." He laughed.  
"Yea, I am practically sleeping now."  
I got us back to the apartment and went right to bed. I got under the sheets and almost immediately fell asleep. I felt Josh get in a little bit later and come next to me.  
"We have it almost done" He whispered.  
I mumbled and closed my eyes again.  
I woke up and Josh had his arms wrapped around me. I could feel him breathing against my neck. He was sleeping. I smiled and laid there for a bit, knowing he never got time to sleep. After about 10 minutes I tried to wiggle my way out of his arms. I finally got out but he started to wake up. I stood over him and kissed his forehead.  
"It's okay, go to sleep" I hummed  
I waited and watched as he shut his eyes once more. He hadn't slept like this for days. I smiled and got ready for work. Just as I was about to leave I looked over at Josh, still sound asleep. I grabbed a little notepad and a pen.  
"_Went to work, be back at the usual time_  
_Glad your sleeping :D_  
_Love you,_  
_Ella"_  
I got to work and it was a very busy day. There was a shooting at a school and there were lots hurt. All day long we were struggling to make rooms for people and open up OR's. After the day was over I got in the car as usual and drove home. I got in the door and Josh was finishing up a conversation on the phone. He hung up.  
"Who was that?" I asked.  
"Hi!" He tried to avoid the subject.  
"Hi, who was that?"  
He took a deep breath and went over to sit on the couch.  
"That was Raine. Remember him?" Josh wondered.  
"Um..."  
"He's the lead singer of Our Lady Peace."  
"Oh! I met him at the show we met at! If it weren't for him we wouldn't have met."  
Josh smiled remembering that day.  
"Yea, he called and I asked him if he could help me produce some of the songs." He explained, "And he wants the band and I to come down to LA to use his studio."  
"Oh, that's nice" I smiled.  
"Are you going to come?" He asked.  
"When is it?"  
"Um, I'm thinking tomorrow, and we would stay for about a week. He's going to look over what I've done so far as well." Josh added.  
"Josh," I sighed, "I can't just leave work for a week. I'll get fired. You're going to have to go on your own."  
"No, please come." He whimpered.  
He gave me those eyes he always does when he wants to convince me to do something.  
"No, I can't."  
"Please?"  
I smiled and laughed.  
"Don't do that!" I giggled.  
"What?"  
"You're looking at me like that, I can't go."  
"Awe, please? You can quit your job, if you want. I don't mind"  
"Josh! I went to school to be a doctor, that's what I'm going to do" I sympathized, "I'm sorry."  
He slouched over and stared at the TV. I went over and sat beside him.  
"Sorry" I repeated.  
He was still looking at the TV so I moved over and sat on his lap to look him into the face. His eyes finally caught mine.  
"I want to go, really I do, but I cant."  
"It's fine, I guess." He mumbled  
He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist.  
"Tell Raine I say hi." I piped, "Oh! What time are you leaving then tomorrow?"  
"Um, whenever I want, I can go in the evening so I can see you after work. Do you want to come with me to the airport?"  
I could tell by the expression on his face the he really wanted me to a least drop him off at the airport. He gave me that look again, the one I can't say no to.  
"Yea, I'll drive you there"  
He smiled and I thought about how tired I was going to be after work tomorrow.  
"Well I'd better go to sleep early today," I laughed.  
Josh watched TV for a bit while I cooked dinner. This is how it always had been even though he was home all day almost everyday. I didn't mind though because he wasn't that great of a cook anyway.  
"I have to get my hair done after dinner. Wanna come?" he inquired.  
I wasn't going to see him for a whole week after tomorrow so I decided to go.  
"Sure, wait, how long is it going to take?" I questioned.  
He smiled but didn't answer. I took that as, its going to take a long time.  
After dinner we got our things on and went to the hair place. It was like a designer, really expensive, best place in Vancouver to go. The second we walked in they all knew Josh and cheered.  
"How are you today Josh?"  
"Good, good" He replied, "And you?"  
"Very good!"  
At this point Josh was already in the chair with that apron-like thing on him.  
"What would you like done today Mr. Ramsay?" She asked.  
I giggled at the fact that they called him Mr. Ramsay and the lady invited me to sit in the chair next to him. I could already tell this was going to take a while.  
"The usual." Josh responded.  
I really wanted to burst out laughing. They knew what he wanted! I took my phone out of my jacket pocket and started playing with it. I went on Facebook, Twitter, and the usual. I quietly listened to Josh as he had a conversation with the lady that was cutting his hair. Once she was done trimming it a bit she went right to the dye. She mixed up the blue dye as well as the tinfoil.  
"Can I ask you something?" I mumbled to the hairdresser.  
Both her and Josh looked over  
"How many people come in here to get blue put into their hair?"  
She thought for a few moments before telling me there were only two others and they were both in their teens. I chuckled.  
"They probably all do it because they want to be like me." Josh gleamed.  
I couldn't help myself, I burst out laughing. The hairdresser was laughing too.  
Time went by and it had been 2 hours at the hair salon. Josh was just finishing up and I got ready to leave. After he got his hair fully done, chatted and paid, it was late. When we finally got out of the car I sat in the front seat for a few minutes.  
"That took a long time. I need to sleep" I grumbled.  
"Sorry"  
"How much did that cost anyway?" I wondered.  
He hesitated,  
"None of your business." He smiled.  
I shook my head and took us home. The second I got home I went right to get ready for bed. I fell asleep right away while Josh was in the music room. I woke up and moved my arm to find Josh right beside me. As usual he wasn't asleep. I was slowly opening my eyes when he turned and looked at me. He then got up and pinned me down to kiss my forehead. He was practically on top of me.  
"Please come with me." He begged.  
I giggled and kissed him back.  
"Believe me I want to but-"  
"Take a sick day or something" He interrupted  
"But I'm not sick, they need me Josh."  
"Please? For me?"  
It was a good thing it was dark in the room when he was looking at me because I could tell giving me that sad look. I took his waist and pinned him down against the bed as he did for me.  
"I really, really, really would love to go with you but I can't. You might not believe this but when I'm at work I miss you like crazy, and when I'm coming home I'm the happiest person alive, knowing your going to be here waiting for me."  
"Really?"  
"Yea! Its not just you that wants me to come. So when I say I want to go, I really do, but I can't."  
He took a deep breath and I took my hands off him and got ready for work.  
"I get off at five today so be ready when I get back." I yelled as I left.  
Today was really busy just like yesterday. Many were recovering and others weren't. All day I was thinking about Josh and the fact he was leaving for a whole week and I wouldn't be able to see him. I tried to forget about that part and focus on finishing the day. When I was done I rushed home to try to get as much time as possible with him. I got in the door and there was his giant bag all ready, waiting.  
"Hi, are you ready to go?"  
"Yep" 


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi, lol so this chapter is a lot shorter than the rest of them.. I'm going to try to post one this size once a week instead of one twice this size every two weeks. Its just easier. Also, we are almost the top reviewed Ramsay story, so review! **** I love to hear your feedback or ideas!**

**If you have any questions of suggestions put it in a review and I'll aswer it next week! **

I walked into the room, where he was, and he had almost had all his things packed up and put into his bag. I gestured for us to go and we got out to the car and hauled the luggage in it.

"Are you nervous?" I asked

"About what? The plane?"

I nodded, still focusing on driving.

"No, I'm used to them now, it's like driving in a car," Josh answered

We chatted for a while until we got to the airport and I parked the car. He grabbed my hand and we walking in together. I had no idea where I was going to I just let Josh lead.

We waited in a giant line and got his ticket. We started walking down the wide hall full of people.  
"The next flight to LA isn't for another 2 hours." he started  
I moaned and we kept walking down the hall. Josh stopped to buy his coke zero at this little till thing on the side.  
"You can bring that on the plane with you, right?" I wondered  
"No, they take it when you go through security, trust me, it's happened before," he urged  
We made our way over to a little bench-like couch and sat down. I looked over at Josh and then back down at his bag.  
"What did you pack? The whole closet?" I exaggerated  
"No, the bathroom essentials too" he joked  
We watched for a while at the different kinds of people that would walk by. Some would be talking in different languages and others just in heated conversations. I watched as parents tried to control their kids and others would fight with their spouse.  
"Do you want to walk around?" He asked  
"Sure"  
We stood up and I took Josh's bag while he had his coke. We held hands as we walked deeper and deeper into the airport. I started to wonder how I would find my way back once Josh had to go. My mind quickly forgot about that and we kept walking.  
"Are you sure you can't come?" he asked once again  
"I'm not even answering that," I told. His hand gripped mine and we walked further.

"How far till I have to go?" I asked  
"Why do you want to get rid of me?" he smiled  
At the same time, he stopped and put his arms around my waist.  
"Because I have other people to see.." I giggled. His face went blank and he loosened his grip around my waist.  
"No, just kidding!" I laughed. I stood higher and kissed him.

"I want to know how much longer I have with you before you leave," I soothed  
"Oh, God. Um, I don't know," Josh confessed. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time.  
"The flight leaves in an hour. I should probably have to go through security in about 45 minutes max. To make the flight."  
I nodded and we just stood there for a while, his arms around my waist. I watched the people around us go by and stare. I giggled  
"What?" Josh asked  
"The people, the way they're looking at us," I whispered. I looked up and he was watching me. I smiled and looked down and he kissed my forehead. I looked back up and kissed him. He was so focused on me it was scary. I looked behind him and noticed some guys walking towards us. They came right up behind Josh.  
"Hi!" They yelled. I felt Josh jump a bit and turn around. It was Brett and Matt.  
"Hi," Josh moaned  
"Awe, I'm sorry, did I ruin it? Were you going to kiss?" Brett said using a childish voice. Josh turned and took my hand.  
"No, kiss, kiss, kiss!" Brett yelled. We ignored it and move on. We kept walking a little more with the guys. We arrived to the 'departures' point where I would have to go.

"Aren't you coming Josh?" They asked.  
"Uh," he started.  
"Go, have fun." I whispered  
I really didn't want him to go just yet but i knew the time had to come. I went to bid him my 'good bye' speech but he answered them,  
"No, I'll stay here for a while."  
"Of course you will," answered Brett, "have fun making out!"  
They both started laughing and waited in the security lines. Josh and I held hands and started to walk back down the large hallway of people.  
"I hate them," He muttered.  
"No you don't," I laughed.  
"Uh! They're so fricking annoying sometimes!" He vented. We kept walking and eventually Josh finished his Coke.  
"You know, now that I think about it I have only been on a plane like," thought for a moment, "I don't remember the last time I was on a plane besides the one here with you."  
"Really?" Josh exclaimed, " Well, we better plan a trip or something soon!"

I giggled and somehow I noticed we had made our way back to where we originally entered, but most importantly, where I would have to exit, alone.  
"How much longer now?" I asked.  
"Ten minutes," Josh exclaimed.  
I looked up at him and smiled. There were some people to the left of us that just kept staring. They we just teenagers too. I turned so my back was facing them and I was looking to Josh.  
"Do you see those people over there?" I whispered.  
"Which?"  
"The teenage girls, they keep looking over here, watching us," I mumbled.  
"Oh them,"  
He looked down at me, "They're probably just fans," He muttered looking down at me.  
I had almost forgotten that there would be 'fans' of his here.  
"So are they going to follow us till you have to go?"  
"Yea," He muttered, "Unless they get the guts to come ask for a picture or whatever they want."  
"Awe. Well they aren't coming over here with me standing here. Go over and pretend your looking for something, er, I don't know."  
"Why?" He moaned.  
"Because! Then they will ask you and leave us alone," I explained  
"Well why can't they come they come over here?"  
"Oh my god. Just go," I demanded.  
He gave me an evil kind of look and walked over to the area they were in. He was so bad at acting. It looked like he was purposely going over to just stand beside them. Sure enough, they went over and got a picture. I smiled and watched as each girl stood with him and the other took the picture and vice versa. After the pictures were done he stopped and talked to them for a minute. I smiled and walked across the hallway to a fair distance away. The one girl kept staring at my every move. Josh made his way back over to me when he was finished and put his arm around me.  
"There," He smiled.  
Then suddenly it dawned on me.  
"What time is it?" I asked. He hesitated at looking at his phone so I got mine out.  
"It's time," I smiled, "You're going to be late."

He turned and brought me close. He brought his arms around my waist and I brought mine around his neck. I leaned up and kissed him.

"I'm going to miss you," He whispered.

"I'll miss you too," I reassured him. He kissed me once more and I pulled away from him and pushed his bag towards him.

"You'd better get going."

He took his bag and smiled, "I love you."

"I love you too," I responded

He leaned over, hugged me and whispered into my ear, "I'll call you."

I smiled and started to walk away. I wanted to turn around and stay with him but I knew I couldn't. A whole week. What was I going to do for a whole week? As I was slowly walking back through the airport I heard a giggle and whispers. All I could make out was "Josh" and "Boyfriend". I looked back and it was two girls I got Josh go and talk to. As soon as I looked they stopped whispering and pretended like nothing happened. I giggled and found myself lost. There were so many exits with so many different names that I didn't know which one to go through to get to the car. I remembered the stand Josh got coke at and knew the right exit from there.


	12. Chapter 12

**HI! Sorry I didn't put a chapter up last week. I was in Quebec and things got busy :P so, this was a quick chapter.. not the best, sorry. I might put a second one up on Sunday too. **

**Aand, just a side note. Lol ive been getting a lot of people tell me to get Ella and Josh to have sex.. but I dunno. U tell me what u think. I think the only reason I'm a little hesitant is cuz that'll be awkward to write. :P**

**Ideas and Thoughts please!**

I got home and the house felt empty. Slowly, the days went by and it felt as if a part of me was missing. I started working longer and longer hours so I could maybe get some time off for when Josh got back. When I wasn't working Lexi was always there keeping me company and telling me all about her life like always. Every night though, I always stopped and waited for the phone call and every night it came. That was what pushed me all day at work, knowing I would get to hear his voice at the end of the day. I hated saying goodbye at the end of each conversation.

There is only two days left until he would return and I wanted them to go by fast. I had the evening off and I was going out for dinner with Lexi. It was eight o'clock so it was a late dinner. I got myself to the restaurant and got us a table. Like always Lexi was late. When she finally arrived we ordered our drinks and food. She didn't seem herself.

"What's wrong?" I asked

I had learned over the past few months that asking this question was a bit of a risk. She always had to tell me the WHOLE story.

"I don't know." She mumbled

"What do you mean you don't know? You know exactly, now tell me." I said smiling

She told me about her boyfriend Alex, and how he didn't seem right. She said he didn't want to spend a lot of time together anymore and when they go out she catches him looking at other girls.

"I don't know if I should end it or not." She wept

"Well you do love him?"

"Yea, well, I don't know. I really care about him."

"Maybe you should just talk to him about all this, see how he takes it." I mentioned

"I just, I thought he was going to be the one. Why do I always screw everything up?" She said, starting to raise her voice

"Your not! You just haven't found the guy you want. You know what you want, and there's someone that will give you just that. You'll know when you find him."

She sat there for a moment taking in what I had just said.

"Is Josh the one?" She wondered

I smiled and nodded.

"I think, yes."

"See? Why can't it have been that easy for me?"

"It wasn't easy for us. There was a lot of, I don't know, it wasn't the best way to meet a guy." I laughed

"How did you meet? I don't think I have ever heard the story."

"Really? I haven't told you?"

"No!"

I told her all about Catherine and how she forced me to go to that concert. I told her how I found that bracelet and gave it to Josh. How he talked to me after the show and we exchanged numbers and all.

"How is that not perfect?" She asked

I then started to explain how he lived here and I lived in Toronto so we could only talk on the phone for a year. I don't think she knew we had known each other for that long. Then I told her about when Josh told me he was coming back for a show and that he was going to take me with him.

"After that show was the first time we kissed." I smiled

"What? Ella, this is so cute!"

I kept going, I told her about how we got back into the car and were driving back to my place.

"We were going through the lights and there was drunk driver, he hit the car on my side and I was rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken ribs. Of course though when I woke up, he was there."

"I didn't know this! What the hell? How could you have not told me?"

"I don't know, do you want to hear the rest?"

"There's more? Holy shit."

I told her how when I was in the hospital my mom showed up and she had met Josh. She was supposed to be back the next day, but I found out by the doctor that she had had cardiac arrest and that her lung cancer had returned.

'I didn't even know that she had lung cancer!" I explained

I continued and told her about how Josh was right there when my mom died and that's when he asked me to move to Vancouver with him

"I had absolutely nobody else. So a few months after I sold my apartment and moved here."

"Awe, that's cute. See? How come I can't find a guy like that? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing! But there's more." I explained

"How the hell is there more? He's perfect."

I laughed and told her what Josh told me on the plane.

"What?" her jaw dropped, "He was a heroin addict?"

"Yea, he's not perfect." I stated

She was so amazed by the whole story but mostly by the last part.

"Haven't you ever asked him about his tattoos?" I smiled

"No, I'm going to when he gets back though! Oh my god." She exclaimed, "But this still doesn't solve my problem."

I smiled and looked at her

"When you find someone that is willing to sit by your bedside for hours for you, you know you've found him." I smiled

She smiled and it was quiet for a bit. We got our food and talked for a while. We were at the restaurant for hours. I got home and got ready for bed. I was planning on going to work early tomorrow and work overtime so I didn't have to be here alone. It was almost 11pm and I knew I needed to go to sleep or I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning.

As I got ready I felt something missing. The call. Josh hadn't called yet. He would have left a message if I missed the call right? I laid down in bed and my mind started to run. What if he forgot? How could he have forgotten though? He always called. I thought about many options until my mind stopped at one, the worst possible thing. Cheating. He wouldn't do that to me again though, right? I tried to ignore that thought as much as I could and fell asleep.

The next day went just as planned. Every hour I would check my phone to see if he called, but he never did. I told Lexi about what I thought and she thought it was ridiculous.

"He was probably really busy. Relax."

I couldn't get that one thought out of my head though. I knew I couldn't be true but I couldn't believe myself. Later on that night when I got home there were no messages. Again. I went and found the computer. I sat down and it instantly pulled his twitter up. I refreshed the page and was going to log him off but something caught my eye. I clicked the 'in reply to' button in the corner and read the tweet.

"JoshRamsay was that your girlfriend at the airport with you?"

He replied

"Hell No! Just a friend."

After I read that I could have sworn I felt my heart break. I put the computer down and moved over to the couch in the living room. I grabbed the multi-coloured blanket and laid it on top of me. I didn't want to think about him, I just wanted to go to sleep and forget everything. I turned on the TV and flipped though the channels. Tux came up beside me and looked me right into the eyes.

"Why do you think he would do that?" I asked the cat

I felt really stupid talking to the cat but he was the only one there at the moment.

I petted him over and over until my eyes got really heavy. It must have been at least midnight and the TV got really boring. I felt my eyes slowly close and I faded away.

I woke up the next morning at 11am. I never really got the chance to ever sleep because of my job and it felt good. I sat there all wrapped up in the blanket and watched TV. Tux was still sleeping in the corner of the chair in a little ball. It didn't feel like that much longer until I heard a key put into the front door and the door open.

"Hi!"

Josh came running into the room with his jacket still on. I stood up and he ran over to hug me but I didn't hug back. "I missed you." He said into my ear

I pushed away and said nothing. Walked back over to the other couch with the computer and sat down. I didn't even look up at him.

"We got a lot of the record done! Want to know what its going to be called?" He asked

When I didn't answer again he came and sat beside me. I was just staring at the front page of the computer, speechless. He moved so his face was in between the laptop and my face.

"Look at me." He stated

I looked over and he sat back up.

"Baby? What's wrong?"

He went from really excited to see me to really wanting to know what was going on.

"Nothing" I mumbled

I turned back again to look at the laptop and pulled up the internet. He pulled my face over so I was looking at him again.

"I'm not stupid, I know it not 'nothing'" He sympathized, "Tell me"


	13. Chapter 13

**Lol theres a part in this chapter right from a movie… lol can you tell which part?**

I looked back down and just sat there for a bit.

"Ella?"

I took a deep breath and pulled up his twitter to where his tweet was. I moved the laptop over and onto his lap. I pointed to the screen.

"What's that?" I asked

I stood up and looked at him.

"Oh, oh that's nothing"

"What do you mean nothing?" I started to yell, "Is there something wrong with me?"

"No!" He put the laptop to his side and stood up to stand beside me. I moved away again, "You're perfect."

"Well? What are you, ashamed of me or something? I don't get it!" I yelled

"No, I don't want people to know, I mean," He moved closer again and I pushed away, "I wanted to protect you."

"From what?"

"It doesn't matter, just forget it." He said

"It doesn't matter? Do I not matter? Is that why you didn't call?"

"No! I did call!" He was trying to not yell

"I didn't get a message. What were you doing?"

"Working." He said sweetly

"Yea, okay" I said sarcastically

"What?" He wondered

"Why would you do that again?" I yelled

He walked up to me, grabbed my shoulders and looked me right into the eyes.

"I would never, ever do that. Never. I promised you I wouldn't. You know I did."

I wanted to cry but I tried to hold it together. I missed him so much, I wanted to just hug him and make things better again.

"But," I started

He let go of my shoulders and moved out of the room.

"Where are you going? You can't just avoid this!" I cried

He came back in with a clenched fist and came close.

"I made a promise."

He opened his hand and it was my necklace.

"Do you see what it says there?" I moved the heart over to the side that said 'i'll be good to you'

"I promised you and your mom I would, and I will." He said

I started to break down and cry just thinking about my mom that night.

"I love you, I would rather fight with you then make love to ANYONE else." He hummed, "You here me? I don't ever want to hurt you."

I moved closer to him and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed, "I'm sorry"

He stood there for a bit and hugged me. He kissed my forehead and pulled away a bit to look me in the eyes.

"No I'm sorry," He whispered

I stepped back

"Is there anything else you want to tell me?" I stuttered

'Uh," There was a pause, "Remember that night you were in the hospital?"

"Of course"

"Well in your sleep you said 'I love you' but I didn't tell you because I wanted to be the first one to say it."

I smiled and he smiled back. How could I be mad at him after saying those things? I moved and he sat down on the couch, I followed and pulled the blanket back over us. I leaned against his shoulder and took a deep breath. The second I sat down I instantly felt better. I'd missed him so much, it was everything about him; I missed his voice, his blue hair. Everything.

"I should have known, Lexi told me not to worry."

"It happened once, and I'll never let it happen again."

"I know that now. So, what are you going to call it?" I asked

"Call what? The album?"

"Yea." I mumbled

"We've all decided it's going to be 'Masterpiece Theatre'. While we were in LA Raine saw one of my ideas and thought it was really good, so he looked over 3 different tracks called 'Masterpiece Theatre 1, 2, and 3 that I did earlier. It's going to be so fucking rad!"

I smiled

"When is it coming out?"

"Well, we have most of it done, we just need to do more tweaking. So, really early next year, like, February."

He wrapped his arms around me and leaned his head against mine.

"God I missed you!" He hummed

I giggled

"I missed you too. Oh! Guess what?" I exclaimed

"What?" He laughed

"I worked the whole week you were gone, extra hours and everything, so now, I'm going to be able to take a few days off"

He smiled

"Unless of course they call me in because of an emergency or something."

"Lexi can fill in can't she?" Josh asked

"Oh! Lexi! I forgot to tell you. I uh," I hesitated

"What?"

"I kinda told her how we met and told her about the whole heroin thing and, she didn't know."

"So?"

"Let's just say that she has a lot to ask you when you see her next."

It was quiet for a bit and I just sat there, taking in the moment. I could feel every breath he took, and his heart beating. Then I felt him start to giggle.

"Wanna know what I did to Ian?"

"What?" I laughed

"Okay, so we were at a restaurant and we all ordered shrimp, but Ian discovered that there was all you can eat shrimp. So when he went to get a refill on his shrimp we said, 'and he'll take 20 more' and they brought us twenty more!"

He paused to chuckle and continued,

"So he separated the shrimp because he was intimidated by the amount but I kept putting more on the plate when he wasn't looking, and in the end, he had over 35 shrimp 2 pieces of cod and fries."

He was still laughing and his laugh made me laugh

"Was he sick?" I wondered

"No, I don't think so anyway, Matt had to room with him."

I laid there with him while watching TV.

"How was your week?" He hummed

I took a deep breath

"Fine, work, sleep 4 or 5 hours, then work. It wasn't that interesting."

"Oh" He mumbled, "What do you want to do today?"

I hesitated for a bit and shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know, but I need to get dressed." I smiled

I moved off the couch, out of his arms and walked to the bedroom. I got dressed and moved into the bathroom to do the usual things. I saw Josh walk by with his giant suitcase and into the bedroom. When I was done I went in and he had opened it. Nothing was folded; everything was just thrown into the bag and put on the plane.

"Oh my, you're putting all that away right?" I asked

"Um, sure." He smiled

I went back out into the living room. It was such a nice day outside as I walked by the window. I went to the kitchen and grabbed something quick to eat.

"Josh?" I mumbled with my mouth full, "Could we just go for a walk?"

He walked in and watched me as I looked out the window.

"Yea, whatever you want."

"Wait, did you put all those clothes away?" I asked smiling

"Maybe." He giggled

I shook my head and moved back to the kitchen to put away some dishes

"When do you want to leave?" He wondered

"Um, when I'm done this."


	14. Chapter 14

He walked back into our room and changed. By the time he came out I was ready and getting my shoes on. He did the same and we finally got outside. Josh took my hand and we started down the street.

"So." I laughed

"So." He repeated

We just stayed silent for a while until found this path that he said he used to take all the time and we walked along it. It was beautiful. There were many trees and flowers all around. Because it was nearing the end of summer it was even more colourful with all the fall colours around. Josh and I held hands and walked deep into the park.

"While we were in LA we worked on Good To You." Josh started, "And we need someone to do the other singing part."

I knew exactly where he was going with this.

"Do you want to do it?"

I took a deep breath and gripped his hand more.

"I do, but I can't."

"What does that mean?" He wondered

"I just, I don't know." I mumbled, "I'm really busy right now."

"Please? Your voice is beautiful. I love working with people that have those kind of voices." He pleaded

"Josh, I can't."

He didn't speak, just kept walking.

"I wrote it for you though, it won't be the same with anyone else."

"I know, and I love it, but singing is not something I want to do." I reasoned

"Are you scared? Because it will be fine, you just-"

"No, I just don't want to, please don't make me."

He sighed and kept walking. We got to a little clearing and noticed that not only was the woods dark but the sky was too. It was almost black, and then it crackled. We both stopped and looked at each other.

"Fuck," He mumbled, "Why does it always rain here?"

"Well, it hasn't started yet." I exclaimed

We went a different path to find out of the park. As we were finding our way out it started to pour.

"Oh shit." He mumbled

He stopped and started to take his jacket off and put it around me.

"Awe no, I'll be fine."

"No, you're not going to get sick." He laughed

I stopped there and stared at him. By this time his hair was soaked and dripping down his shirt. I pushed it back and leaned up to kiss him. His always kissed me long enough for me to get that tingling in the tummy sensation, but short enough to leave me wanting more but I loved it. I smiled and took his hand and we continued. After, we started jogging until I saw this little antique store. I guided him over to the store and we ran inside. It was dry and warm. I started looking around at the cute little antiques they had there. Josh was looking in a totally different section. I walked over and we looked at some more trinkets before leaving.

The rain slowed down and we bolted quickly back to the apartment. After a little bit of running we finally arrived. I decided to check our mail. I found the key and pushed it into the little mailbox. I was surprised to see much more mail than usual inside. I lifted it out and shut the little door. Josh and I got upstairs to the door of our apartment and he opened it. I started flipping through the mail and it was all bills, but there was one that looked a little messed up, almost torn. On the back was a name I didn't recognize at first but it was from Toronto so I thought I would open it. It was a wedding invitation from Lauren! She was one of my really good friends from High school in Toronto! I couldn't keep my excitement in. I kept reading and the day of the wedding was September 5th. That was in two days!

"Uhhhh! Josh!" I yelled

"What?"

I ran into the living room and sat down beside him handing him the invite.

"What's this?" He asked

"Read it!" I squeaked

He read it silently for a minute and looked up.

"Who's Lauren?"

"We were like, best friends all throughout high school! Josh! I haven't seen her in, forever!"

"Okay," He looked at the date

"This is in two days you know." He mumbled

"I know, are we going to go? I mean, do you want to get another plane?" I wondered

"Yes. I don't care about planes, I'll go."

"Yay!" I ran over to the kitchen and picked up the phone. I dialled the number on it to see if I could maybe talk to Lauren. There was no answer.

"Well," I said as I walked back into the living room, "It looks like we're going to surprise her there!" I smiled

I went and sat down beside Josh.

"So, when should we leave then? Tomorrow?" I asked

"Well, we have to get a hotel and all so, yea, that would be a good idea."

I jumped up and ran into the bedroom and started to get some of my things packed into a suitcase. Josh walked in a few minutes later to grab the laptop that was left in there.

"It's a good damn thing I didn't put my things away. I hate the whole packing, cleaning and folding clothes." Josh exclaimed

It was already getting late and I was so pumped to go back to Toronto tomorrow. I hadn't been there since my mom died! All night I just jumped around doing different things to get ready for the plane tomorrow. I couldn't wait.

Before I knew it, it was almost 11pm and I started to get ready for bed so that I would be rested for tomorrow. I laid down; Josh stayed up watching TV as usual, and tried to close my eyes so tomorrow would come faster.

I woke up the next morning to Josh, passed out on the couch with the laptop. He spent way too much time on that thing. I put the screen down, took it off his lap and put a blanket on top of him. I moved into the kitchen to make some breakfast and noticed the bags all packed and at the door. As I prepared the breakfast I was thinking about my friends I left in Toronto. I couldn't wait to see them and ask them how they have been. And Josh, I'll have to introduce them. I was nearly done eating when Josh walked in, with the blanket I put on him, PJ's and major bed head.

"Good Morning" I cheered

He just moaned and sat down in one of the chairs around the table.

"What time are we leaving today?" He asked

"Um, I don't know, you're the one who knows most about airports, what time is less busy?"

"It's always busy," He laughed, starting to slowly wake up, "How about we leave in about an hour and get there to see the times of the departures and all" He suggested

"Okay!" I cheered

Josh showered and got himself ready to go while I sat and watched TV. I had been ready since the night before. There wasn't much on TV but I decided to just watch MUCH. I never got to talk to most of my friends because I just got up and left Toronto with no warning. I had been wanting to go back and see them but Josh and I have had a lot of things going on around here. Josh got out of the shower, got ready and got his jacket on.

"You ready?" He smiled

"Of Course!"

I grabbed my bag and he grabbed his and we walked out to the waiting cab. We got all our things inside and Josh told him where it was we were going. Going back to Toronto was going to give me very many memories.

"Where you guys headed?" Asked the driver

"Toronto!" I cheered

"Oh, have you been before?" He asked

"Yea, I lived there until a little less than a year ago."


	15. Chapter 15

**Im soo sorry for not putting a new chapter up in ages! :P lmao im on vacation and i just got to my hotel. Hopefully you like this chapter (:**

**I havent been writing a lot, hardly at all, and i think i am going to stop this story very soon. I have 21 chapters done and will put one up each week. That means 6 more weeks of this story! I hope you all understand. :)**

It was silent in the car after that until we got to the airport. The cab driver helped us with our bags; we paid him and walked in. I loved the chaos of the airport, it reminded me of the hospital. We did the usual stuff, got our tickets, got bags checked, and waited in many lines. We finally got to the boarding dock and sat down.

"What time does the flight leave?" I asked

"Um, 2?"

"Mkay," I mumbled

There were a lot of people arriving and it became a very crowed boarding dock. The flight attendant person started asking for certain people to come and board the plane. We waited till they called our letter and got up. We walked over and showed the girl our tickets and moved into the plane. Josh held out his hand and I smiled and took it. We walked through the tunnel that connected the plane to the airport.

"So, what do you think your friends are going to think about me?" He asked

"I don't know," I laughed

"That's not a good answer."

"Well, why don't you ask them when we get there?" I giggled

"Okay, I will."

We got down to the seats we were going to sit in. I leaped over into the window seat and look back.

"Hey, I wanted that seat" Josh complained

"Too bad."

He moved over to the seat beside me.

"Well fuck." He mumbled under his breath

"What? Did you forget something?"

"No, there's a child behind us."

"So?"

"So they always cry and it's fucking annoying." He mumbled

As he said this the last group of people were coming in. There was a mother and her daughter struggling to find a seat together. She started to walk down the isles for a spot. She stooped at the one beside Josh and looked at us.

"Would you mind if my daughter sits here? I'll be right here." She signalled to the empty seat in front of us.

"Sure! That's fine," I cheered

Josh looked over at me and gave me a stern look. He obviously didn't think it was fine. He moved over to me a little more and the lady showed her daughter to her seat.

"No! I want to sit with you!" The little girl was crying, "No, mommy"

Her mom bent down and looked at her.

"Please, I will be right here."

Her daughter must have been about 5 and she was very cute. She had dark brown hair and they were put into perfect little ponytails. She looked over at Josh and looked back. I could tell she wasn't that fond of him, almost scared.

"No!" She screamed

I stood up and signalled Josh to move over to my window seat. He gladly moved over and I sat next to the empty seat.

"It's okay." I soothed, "Come sit here"

She stopped crying and climbed up onto the seat slowly, watching me. Her mom put her seat belt on and said to whole, you be good, and be nice. Her mom sat right in front of us and she just stared at me.

"Oh god." Mumbled Josh

"What's your name?" I asked the little girl ignoring Josh

"Um, Tessa." She said quietly

She lifted her hand as far as it could go towards my neck.

"What is it?" I asked

She pointed her finger and I looked down.

"The necklace?"

She nodded and I took it off for her to see it better. She took it in her little hands and smiled. I watched her as she moved it from hand to hand and then stopped to move her fingers over the 'I'll be good to you' on the back.' I felt the plane start to move and slowly travel faster. She didn't seem to mind, like she had been on many planes before. The plane moved into the air and she gave me the necklace back. Josh and I just sat there for a while, quiet. After about 20 minutes the little one beside us was sleeping.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled

I looked over and Josh was writing out things on paper then scratching them out.

"I'm trying to write, but I'm having trouble." He hissed

"Well, what do you normally write about?" I asked

"You."

"Oh shut up," I forced, "How do you not know what to write? You write all the time."

He looked back down at the paper crumpled it up and got a new one.

"I got nothing, I can't think!" He said frustrated

"Well, write about, um, home." I mumbled

"Home?" He asked

"Yea, like your childhood and-"

"Oh, I think I got it." He interrupted

He started writing franticly trying to get all his thoughts down before he forgot them. I sat back in my seat and started to daydream. I pulled out my book and continued from the page I left off on. It was a romance and I was almost all the way through it. I looked down at my watch and realized we had been flying for four hours now. I only had a few more pages like in the book and I was determined to get them done before the flight ended. There was something keeping me from reading. Josh was tapping his foot like he was worried about something and it was annoying.

"Could you stop?" I stated

"Sorry."

He stopped and moved around in his seat a bit more.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"I need a smoke." He mumbled

His foot started tapping again and he kept moving around. I shook my head and put my hand on his leg.

"Stop." I looked at him, "You'll be fine."

He took a deep breathe and sat back. A few seconds later he moved forward again.

"No, I seriously need one, Oh my god."

I looked over.

"You know how bad that is for you? It's like your asking for lung cancer." I started

"I know, I know"

"No, do you know how many people come into the hospital with cancer because of smoking? There's a lot!"

He took a deep breath and sat back again.

"You don't really need one, you just think you do." I mumbled, "Why don't you have some coke or something?"

"They don't have any on this plane or else I would already have some."

I laughed and continued reading while he took deep breaths in and out. The plane finally started to land and I could tell Josh was ready to bolt out. After it stopped I waited for all the chaos to settle down. It was always a big rush out the exit. The little girl beside me's mom came and got her and thanked us for watching her. After about 5 minutes I was able to get up and get the small carry-on in the above compartment. I stood there and Josh stood up quick. We walked out of the plane and into the airport. It was very busy. We walked out and the first thing we saw was a coke machine.

"Go get one" I smiled

We walked over and he used the change out of his pocket to buy a bottle of Coke. We moved through the airport, still holding hands. Josh showed me to the part where we were to pick up our bags and I watched as the different colour bags went along.

"Should we rent a car or just take a taxi to the hotel?" He asked

"I don't care," I mumbled, "Which ever is easiest"

Are bags rolled around and Josh grabbed them. We got outside and it was dark. I walked out and looked up, I loved it here, I was back home. There was a little taxi button that you pushed and one would come. We had our bags set by a bench and I sat down. Josh pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

"Ew!" I yelled, "Get away,"

I pushed him over to the other side of the bench and smiled. He stood up and took a few steps back.

"Sorry" He laughed,

"When did you start smoking?" I asked

"Uh," He paused and let out a puff of smoke, "Grade ten? Maybe early grade 11."

I shook my head and kept looking for the taxi. I loved the lights in Toronto at night. Sure, there were lights in Vancouver but I loved these ones. Josh finished his smoke and the taxi arrived. Just as I was getting into the taxi I realized I had no idea of what hotel we were going to. I got in and looked over at Josh who started talking to the taxi driver. He told him a specific hotel and the taxi driver started the car.

"Where are we going?" I wondered

"To a hotel." He smiled

"What one?"

"A certain one." He replied smirking

I gave him a glare and looked out the window. I remembered walking down some of these streets with friends and gossiping about others in university. I couldn't help but smile and wait till we got to the hotel.

It wasn't much longer until we finally arrived and Josh and the taxi driver got our bags out. I looked up at the brightly lit sky outside of the hotel. It was Toronto Marriott, or that's what I saw at least. We walked in and I was exhausted. Josh went to the front desk and I sat on some of the couches across from him. I was practically falling asleep; it had been a long day. He was still talking with the man at the front desk, trying to figure something out. Finally he got our room keys and he showed me up to the room we were going to. We got up into the elevator and to the 3rd floor. I pulled myself out of the elevator and followed Josh down the hallway until he found our room. #315. He opened the door and set our things down. I moved my bag onto the bed while Josh looked around the place. I opened it up and grabbed my PJ's right away. I got dressed and Josh turned his laptop on.

"I can't believe you actually brought that damn thing." I mumbled, smiling

**Can you guess which song Josh is writing?**


	16. Chapter 16

He laughed and I got into the cold bed. I moved around trying to get myself comfortable.

"Josh?"

"Yea,"

"Come lay with me? This is uncomfortable." I moaned

He put the computer down and moved over to me. He came under the sheets and wrapped his arms around me. I instantly felt the shiver go down my spine. I pushed my face against his chest and slowly warmed up.

"How did you know about this hotel? Like, be able to tell the taxi driver to come here." I mumbled

"This is where I stayed the night after we first met." He replied

I smiled, "Of, course"

I laid there taking advantage of the warmth coming off his body. Slowly my eyes became very heavy until the point I couldn't keep them open. I could feel his heartbeat against my face and fell asleep.

I woke up and he was across the room on the laptop. I turned and sat up.

"Hey baby," He exclaimed

I moaned and moved over to the end of the bed. After a while I finally decided to get up. I walked over to the door of the balcony and opened it. The cool fall breeze hit my face and I walked out. I could tell we were downtown somewhere because of all the noise and buildings. I smiled and walked back in.

"What are we doing today?" Josh asked

"We have to get you a tux and I need to get a dress for the wedding." I stated

I started to root through my bag for something to wear today while we would be out.

"I don't want to wear a tux," Josh moaned

"Well your going to wedding. Everyone will be dressed up."

He moaned and put the laptop down. I found my clothes and was now getting myself ready in the bathroom. It was only a few seconds later that Josh was dressed and walked in to get ready as well.

"What time is it?" I wondered

"Um," He pulled out his phone, "almost 10"

"Oh shit, we need to get going, I need to find a dress."

He smiled and we finished everything up and eventually got out the door. We walked down the hallway and into the elevator. I didn't really remember even getting up here last night. We walked through the hotel and got the front desk to call us a taxi, once again. I walked over and sat on the little couch.

"So, where are we going?" Josh asked

"To the mall." I smiled

"Which one?"

"Eaton Centre, and if we cant find anything good there, then we're going to Yorkdale. But I'm sure we will."

"Oh, okay" He smiled

The taxi arrived and I told him where we were going.

When we got there Josh and I got out and moved through one of the entrances. I knew exactly where almost every store in this mall was.

"Okay, we're going to rent you a tux, so this way."

I pointed a direction and lead Josh to the store. We arrived and Josh looked amazed.

"No, I don't want to, please."

I smiled,

"You're not getting out of this" I mumbled

"Oh my god" He muttered under his breath

We moved through the store and there were many different things that he could wear. There were many colours of dress shirts, pants, and jackets. I moved over to the dress shirts first. Josh followed.

"What about this one, its blue." I smiled

"Yea, but if I have to put that stupid jacket over it I'm not wearing it."

"Oh shut up!"

I found his size and took it into my arms for him to try on.

"Do you like the white one better?" I asked

"No"

"Okay."

I walked him over to the dress pants and got him to look at some. They were all black and he didn't seem to mind that.

"Can't I just wear my jeans?" He moaned

"No! We're going to a wedding!" I snickered

He took a deep breath out and picked out one that would be his size. Next was a tie. We walked over and he had no problem picking that out of the different colours. He wanted white, silky looking one.

"If I wear all of this could I please, not have to wear the jacket. Please?" He begged

"Fine. You have to try this stuff on though."

He grabbed the stuff and I followed him to the change rooms. One of the people that worked there opened one up for him and I sat on a little couch outside the rooms. After a few minutes he came out.

"You like it?" I asked

"Yea, I guess." He mumbled

"Okay, lets get it then." I smiled

He walked back into the change room and we later got to the counter and paid for it. We stepped back out into the busy mall and started to the next store. Josh took my hand and followed me.

"Oh, I meant to ask, how long are we staying?"

"However long you want." He replied

I smiled and kept walking, keeping my eye out for a dress I might like. Then I stopped dead in my tracks. I found the perfect one. I pulled Josh into the store and gazed at it.

"You like that one?" He laughed

"Yea."

"Well try it on then."

I found one on a rack and moved to the change rooms. One of the girls opened the door for me and I jumped in. I pulled the dress over me and looked at myself inside the dressing room mirror. I loved it. It was a blue strapless dress with a black sash around the waist that had a bow just over to the side. It was beautiful. I stepped out of the room to Josh leaning against the wall just a few feet away.

"Whoa"

I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror. I turned a bit to let the dress flare and turned around and smiled at Josh.

"You like it." I asked

He just nodded and smiled. I looked back into the mirror and brought my hair up to see the different ways it would look good.

"I love it!" I squeaked

"It's beautiful, you're beautiful." He stepped forward and kissed me, "You are."

I smiled and went back into the change room. I got all my stuff on and stepped out with the dress in hand. We moved to the front desk and bought it. I couldn't wait to wear it tonight.

"Are we done now?" Josh asked

"Um, yea I think we are."

We started to make our way out and then I remembered.

"We need a gift! A wedding gift."

"Oh yea. Shit."

We pulled ourselves into the little shop that you could buy special things in I guess. I started looking around but found nothing.

"What about this?" Josh wondered

I walked over to where he was standing to see he was talking about some wine glasses. I debated if I wanted to get them or not.

"They're crystal." He mumbled

I looked at them once more

"Okay."

Finally we got out of the crowded mall and into a taxi. He dropped us at our hotel and we hauled everything up to our room.

"We should have rented a car" Josh exclaimed

I laughed and got my shoes off.

"We have to leave here in two hours. I'm going to shower." I stated

I found the shampoo in the bag and got into the bathroom. I always took the longest showers, like 30 minutes. I finally got out and wrapped the towel around myself. I brushed the towel through my hair and pulled the towel around once more so it stayed in that place. I walked out into the bedroom area and looked through the bags for my dress. Josh of course was making no effort on getting ready; he was on the laptop again. I walked back into the bathroom, changed, did my hair, and did my makeup. I looked my self in the mirror and smiled. I walked out to Josh.

"What do you think?"

His eyes grew as he looked at me.

"I think," He moved forward and put his arms around me, "We need to get out of here before my girlfriend gets back."

I laughed and hugged him.

"No, you look beautiful." He whispered into my ear.

"Thank you." I whispered

"Where's your necklace?" He asked

"I don't want to bring it, I'm afraid I might loose it."

"No you're taking it. We're not leaving this room till you do." He smiled

"You need to get your stuff on. We need to leave in a half an hour!"

"I know, I'm ready, I just need to get dressed."

He got his stuff and changed quickly. He already had his hair done and everything so we were ready right after that. Josh made sure there was a taxi waiting for us and we got out to the car. I told the man the address on the invite and he looked like he knew exactly where he was going.

"How long do you want to stay out for?" I asked Josh

"I don't care, depends,"

I smiled.


	17. Chapter 17

Okay so recently, as im sure you all know, Marianas Trench performed Havent had enough and By Now... and those song REAAALLLY motivated me! so, good news :P

i started writing a sequel type thing to this story, and its in josh's point of view. It's mgoing to take me a while to write and think up a story line, but i thought i'd let you guys all know ! lol

It wasn't much longer until we arrived at the venue. The taxi pulled up and I noticed people gathering. I grabbed his hand and we walked up the path to the church.  
"I can't wait for you to meet everyone. This is going to be so fun!"  
The church was very big, beautiful. As we walked in the doors, and there were the pews. All around from wall to wall were beautiful stain glass windows that came in many colours. We walked in and found our spot. At first I didn't recognize anyone but then people started walking in I think I knew. Josh put his arm around me and leaned closer.  
"Know anyone?"  
"I think."  
"We're not going to have pray or anything, do we?"  
"Well we are in a church." I whispered  
Music started and people started entering. I started to recognize almost everybody in the wedding ceremony. Then Lauren came out with her dad. Josh and I just watched and listened as the ceremony went on. They exchanged vows and rings and all the usual wedding things. Lauren looked just the same as when I left. I couldn't believe she was getting married! After the ceremony was over everyone was given the address of the reception and Josh and I slowly made our way out.  
"Are you going to say hi or something?" Josh asked me  
"Um, maybe at the reception" I hesitated  
"Okay," he replied  
We followed everyone it to the parking lot and got into one of the lined up taxi's. Later, we arrived at the reception. We walked in and the music was already started and people were dancing. As we walked in we passed this colourful cake. Lauren was always one of those creative people. She loved art and decorating things. I walked in and everything looked amazing. Josh and I walked in and I sat down at a table off to the side. I put my purse there and Josh lent over  
"Want me to get you a drink?" he wondered,  
"No, I'm fine. Sit down."  
"No, I'm going to get one, they have coke here!" He giggled like a little girl and walked over  
I looked into my purse to try to find my lip gloss until I heard someone.  
"Ella?"  
I turned around. It was Catherine.  
"Hi!" I cheered  
I immediately got up and hugged her  
"I missed you!" I squealed, "How've you been?"  
"Oh my god! Good! How about you?"  
She sat down across from me and got comfortable. "Very good." I replied,  
"Last time I saw you was, I don't even remember!" she paused, "Oh! That show I took you to, when you met that guy! How are things going? Are you still together?" She rambled,  
"Oh yea, we are, he's here!"  
"He's here!" She squeaked  
"Yea, what about you? You got a boyfriend?"  
"Oh no, I don't need a Guy." she smiled  
I smiled and looked back for Josh. He had been gone for a while now; he must have gotten his coke. Then after I turned around someone must have noticed me again.  
"Ella!" They screamed  
I turned around. It was Michelle. She was my roommate in university.  
"Hi!" I stood up once again and hugged her. I did this repeatedly few more times until the table was full of people wondering how I've been.  
"So, where are you living? You should come down and visit more!" Michelle exclaimed  
I giggled "Vancouver."  
"Vancouver?" they all repeated  
"Yea, I moved there with Josh" I stated  
The ones who didn't know about Josh all started talking at once.  
"Josh? Who's Josh? Is he here! Is he cute?"  
"Okay, okay, he's here." I laughed, "You'll get to meet him, he was supposed to be back a while ago, he probably found someone to talk to."

We talked for a while, them mostly asking me how I've been and I do the same. I looked back and saw a quick glimpse of Josh talking to someone around the corner. All of the girls in front of me couldn't stop talking; asking questions, mostly about Josh, but never gave enough time for me to reply. Eventually things faded down and we started talking about little things, not me. Then all of a sudden the music slowed and the bride and groom started dancing. They came out into the centre and everyone cleared away. Soon after the brides parents danced and the same with the grooms. I was watching them glide along the dance for when I heard the girls whispering behind me. I turned around and Josh put his arms around me from behind.

"You want to dance?" He asked

I looked up, smiled and put my hands over his.

"Ella!" my friend Alexis spoke, "If you don't I will."

"No, I will." I laughed looking back up at Josh. I got up out of my chair and Josh held my hand to the dance floor. He stopped, put his arms around my waist and I did the same around his neck.

"You having fun?" I said into his chest

"Yeah, I met this guy, Jeff. We have a lot in common." He mumbled

"Good. You have to meet my friends, they really want to meet you."

He laughed and we danced around slowly.

"I thought you said you couldn't dance." I mumbled

"I can't."

"Oh, okay then."

The song slowly came to and end and I took my hands away from around Josh's neck. I looked up and he kissed my forehead.

"Do you want to come meet them?" I asked

"Okay, give me a minute, I left my coke over by the bar."

He took his hands out from around m

The song slowly came to and end and I took my hands away from around Josh's neck. I looked up and he kissed my forehead.

"Do you want to come meet them?" I asked

"Okay, give me a minute, I left my coke over by the bar."

He took his hands out from around my waist and I moved over to the table I was at with my purse.

"Ella, Catherine told us how you met, it's so cute!"

"Oh," I laughed glancing over at Catherine

"Is he coming back?" Asked Alexis

I could tell she liked him and it was obvious to everyone.

"Yeah, he'll be back in a second." I smiled

Everyone's eyes lit up and they waited for him to come sit down. Soon enough he was there, right beside me. Everyone just sat there and stared at him for a minute until I started talking.

"This is Josh" I started

I introduced then all to him and vice versa and we all started talking. All the girls wanted to know everything about us, where we live, how we met, how long we were staying. I smiled and told them all they wanted to know. The group of us chatted and laughed. It was fun to catch up with all my friends like this; I loved it.

"Where are you working then?" Michelle asked

"Um,one of the main hospitals in Vancouver" I smiled

"And You?" She asked Josh

"Um," He hesitated and looked at me, "Producer, Music Producer."

"Oh!" They all exclaimed

A bunch of people started gathering and all of us looked over. All the girls got up and ran over to the centre of the floor. Catherine looked over and ran back.

"What are you doing? Get over here!"

She yanked me out of my chair and dragged me over to where the other girls were. Lauren was standing in front and I realized what they were doing. She was going to throw her bouquet. I waited there not meaning to catch it at all but when she threw it, it came right my way. I reached up and grabbed it. Everyone crowded me cooing and asking who it was going to be. Eventually the music lowered and someone got on the small stage and grabbed the mic.

"Is anyone want to sing for us tonight?" He yelled

I didn't know him but he seemed half drunk and just up there for something to do. I looked back and everyone at the table including Josh who was staring at me. I shook my head and looked at Josh.

"No."

Then someone volunteered and got up and sang. They weren't bad but very wasted. During the performance we all got up and started dancing. Josh didn't want to at first but I got him on the dance floor at least. The song came to an end and they asked for another volunteer. All the girls plus Josh stared telling me I had to and tried to push me up but I didn't. I really didn't want to do it.

"Come on! You sang all the time in school!" They pouted

"Yeah, but I don't want to anymore."

They all continued on with their night and Josh and I did also. We walked over to the bar and sat down. Josh was still drinking his coke, relaxed. I saw Lauren walk over and stop in front of us.

"Ella! I'm so glad you could come!

I stood up and hugged her.

"You look beautiful!" I mentioned

"Awe, you look good too. This must be Josh."

She leaned over and gave him a hug.

"Hi." Josh said

We talked and it sounded like she was having a good time. She told me that we would have to get together soon before we left so we could catch up even more. She moved on to the next person, mingling to try to get to everyone.

"Oh, you have to meet that guy. Hang on." He mumbled

A few seconds later, he came back.

"Ella, this is-"

"Jeff! Hi!" I cheered


	18. Chapter 18

I got up immediately recognising him right away and gave him a hug.

"How have you been?" I wondered

"Great! How about you?"

"Good."

I sat back down and Josh was just standing there, amazed

"You two know each other?" He smiled

"Oh yeah!" Jeff replied, "We dated in high school for a while. How long?"

"Um, a year maybe?" I exclaimed

Josh was stunned and sat down beside me.

"So, this your girlfriend you were talking about?" Jeff asked Josh

"Yeah."

We talked for a while, Jeff and I really; Josh sat there and just listened. Everyone was dancing and having such a good time.

"Would you like a drink?" The bartender asked me

"Oh, no thank you" I replied

He moved and asked Josh.

"No. I'm fine"

I turned and smiled at him.

"Have one."

"No, I don't drink." He muttered

"Yes you do, what are you talking about?"

"No," He said flatly

I then remembered why he must have not had any that night.

We talked to many others including Lauren that night. Everyone was so happy I could make it and loved seeing me again. People started to leave really fast and some didn't get time to say good bye. Eventually Josh and I said good bye to the bride and groom and the people left there and got ourselves outside. The bride and groom arranged for what looked like a one hundred taxis so everyone had a safe ride. Josh and I got in one and it made its way back to our hotel. I got in the car and tilted my head back and shut my eyes. It had been a long night.

We arrived at our hotel and we got up to our room. Right away I got in and got ready for bed. Josh was on the balcony smoking and I was inside half-naked trying to find my PJ's. I got sick of looking so I grabbed one of Josh's shirts out of his bag and put it over my head. I laid myself down in the bed and tried to move around to get warm. Josh came in a little later and climbed into bed. He moved over towards me and I could feel the heat radiating off his body. I moved closer and laid there.

"You smell like shit." I said my voice-sounding monotone

"Sorry" he whispered, "So, how did they know you could sing?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I do," He mumbled, "Don't you think I deserve to know?"

"Well, singing was just something I always did with my dad."

"And?"

"And then he left and I just… stopped."

"Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?" He sympathized, "Your really good."

"Muuhh"

I curled closer to him and slowly started to get comfortable. I felt his arms move around me and I slipped away.

I leisurely started to wake up. I was all-warm with Josh wrapped around me I didn't want to move.

"Are you going to get that?" Josh asked

"Get what?"

"Your phone, it's been going off for the last twenty minutes." He hummed

I nestled myself deeper into his chest. I could hear the phone go off again and I got up and rubbed my eyes.

"Where is it?" I grumbled

"Side table"

I leaned over and picked up the phone. I didn't recognise the number but whoever they were was pissing me off.

"Do you know that number?" I asked Josh moving it over for him to see.

"No."

I didn't want to answer it but the phone had bothered me this much that I decided to.

"Hello?"

"Oh, thank god you haven't left yet!"

"Excuse me?"

"I hope your not hung over because I'm taking you out before you leave."

"Who is this?" I questioned

"Alexis."

"How did you get this number?"

"Canada 411, duh!"

"Oh," I laughed, "I don't really feel up to going out. I was really just going to stay here."

"Awe, come on! I haven't seen you in forever! I didn't even get to say goodbye last night."

"I know, but I'm with Josh-"

I looked over and Josh had pulled the phone away from me.

"Hi Alexis, It's Josh"

Everyone knew last night that Alexis liked Josh so I knew at this point she must have been blushing.

"Listen, Ella does want to go out with you. Where do you want her to meet you?"

There was a pause.

"When?"

And another pause.

"Okay, bye"

He fell back onto the pillow and handed me the phone.

"Alexis wants to meet you on the corner of Queen and Young Street at 12:30."

"You are unbelievable, you know that?" I smiled, "I wanted to stay here with you."

"You already spent too much time with me. Go out with your god damn friend and have a good time." He exclaimed

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I'll figure something out."

I knelt down and kissed him, before I got out of bed. I rolled over and stood up to stretch. Josh stared laughing.

"What are you wearing?"

"Your shirt" I smiled

I got dressed and someone came to the door. I walked over confused on who it could be and opened it.

"Hello!"

It was a man with a plate full of food. Josh must have ordered breakfast for us of something.

"You must be . Here are your breakfasts."

I started laughing as he handed me over the plates.

"Would you like anything else now?" He asked

"Oh no," I giggled, "I'm fine."

I walked back into the bedroom part and put the stuff down.

"Did you hear that?" I laughed

"Hear what?"

"That man! He called me ."

Josh smiled and came over to get some food.

After a while of getting ready and trying to clean up the hotel it was almost time for me to head out. Josh came over and hugged me goodbye. He went to loosen them but I moved my arms back around so his were still holding me.

"I don't want to go yet."

"You're keeping her waiting" He smiled

"I don't care."

"You're going to be late"

I pulled him closer.

"I hate you." I whispered into his ear

"Love you too!" He cheered

Where they wanted to meet me was just down the street from where we were staying. I walked out and down the hallway to the elevator. I walked down the street, watching all the different kinds of people walk by. I got very distracted by all the noise and people on the streets. There was one man who was doing chalk drawings on the sidewalk for money and he was fabulous. There was another desperately playing guitar to earn money to see his daughter in Nova Scotia. I started to think about the people that would die for the things I had. I planned to come by this way again afterwards so I could give them something, anything. I kept walking and eventually got to the corner. Nobody was there yet so I pulled out my phone and texted Josh. I asked him if he was sure they said 12:30 and he said he was. Soon enough Alexis got there with Catherine and Michelle.


	19. Chapter 19

"Hi" I cheered as I gave each of them a hug, "I didn't know that you guys were all coming."

"Oh, I must have forgot." Alexis smiled, "Lets go!"

I followed her and the girls into Queen Station, which was right behind us. We walked in and she explained to me that us girls, were going to spend the afternoon getting our nails and feet done. We got into the subway and Alexis was still talking about how good this salon we were going to was. I couldn't help but almost block her out and look around. It was so gross and filled with people, the subway. It reminded me of all the times I took the wrong one, or missed my stop. We got onto one and there weren't that many seats left and most of us had to hold onto one of the poles. Alexis just kept on talking and talking until she stood up and leaped off the subway when it stopped. We all followed and made our way up the stairs towards the sunlight. All throughout Josh was texting asking where some of his things were because I had cleaned everything up. I followed the girls into a very vibrant little boutique. There were many different colours like pinks and light greens and blues. Alexis seemed to know the girls working there because she was asking them how things were going and all.

"It's on me." She said handing the cashier her credit card

"Oh no," We all exclaimed

"No, no, no, no! I'm paying" Alexis interrupted

"I'll pay you back," I promised

"No, seriously it's my treat."

The girls and I walked over to a row of chairs and the girls working there soaked our feet in some warm water. Every two seconds Josh was texting me asking me what I was doing and how it was going. We got to choose the colours we wanted for our toes and nails while they soaked our feet.

"Who are you texting?" Catherine smirked

"No one." I said putting my phone away

"It's probably Josh." She muttered

"Oh, damn Ella, if you weren't dating him, oh my..." Alexis stopped knowing if she went further things would get weird.

"Okay," I smiled

"Just saying." She smiled

"How long have you guys been dating?" Michelle asked

"Why do we have to talk about Josh? Can't we talk about something else?" I laughed

"No, you guys are so cute!"

I felt like all the pressure was on me. They all wanted to hear everything about him.

"Tell us how you met." Alexis cheered, "Please!"

"Oh, I'll tell you, I was there!"

I closed my eyes annoyed at all of them while Catherine told the story, again.

"Wait, a band?" Michelle squeaked

I looked over and realized she must have told the WHOLE story, like the fact he was in a band. Everyone was looking over at me once again.

"Oh, um," I mumbled

"Oh my god! I thought he was a…." Alexis paused, "Oh! He produces music, and oh! I get it."

"What? I'm so confused." Michelle exclaimed

"He's in a band! What band?" Alexis squeaked

"Why does it matter?" I giggled, "Can we talk about something else?"

"No, what band?"

"Marianas Trench." Catherine smiled

"I knew he looked familiar!" She yelled

Everyone around looked at us and Alexis lowered her voice.

"You're dating a rock star! You lucky..." She stopped again

"Can we talk about something else?" I stated

They were all still staring at me amazed they didn't figure it out before except Catherine who knew all along. One of the ladies working there came over with some wine.

"Would you care for some wine ladies?" She asked

We all took some and watched as our feet got done until Alexis started again.

"Since when do you not take a drink when offered?" Alexis wondered

She bent forward looking at Michelle. She didn't take any wine.

"Out of all of us you are the one that should want wine! What's wrong?" she giggled

"Nothing, I don't want one." Michelle replied trying to avoid the subject.

"Yes you do."

"No, it's not good for the baby." She responded

The minute she said we all gasped and she covered her mouth regretting what she had just said, and I didn't blame her! I loved Alexis but sometimes she gets really loud.

"You're pregnant!" Catherine yelled

"Shhhhh" I hummed, "There's other people here!"

"You're pregnant?" Catherine said again whispering

"I meant to tell you guys earlier but-"

"You're pregnant!" Alexis squeaked interrupting her

We were all smiling and giggling because everyone in the little boutique was looking at us.

"Alex's I hope." Catherine muttered

"Wait, who's Alex?" I asked

"Her boyfriend." Catherine told

I was so happy for her! It made me upset to know I had been away so long I hadn't been able to keep up with all this, I felt left out almost.

"When are you due?" I giggled

"April."

"Awe!" We all bubbled

Eventually we went over to the nail part of the salon to get those done too. We talked about baby names and everything else possible before our pedicures were finished.

"Well that was fun!" Alexis said as she skipped out the doors, "I found out that one of my friends is pregnant and the other is dating a fucking rock star!"

We all laughed and made our way back to the subway. Josh started texting me again telling me to meet him somewhere. I just followed behind the girls not watching in front of me, just texting. We got to the subway and Josh told me where he was and where to meet him.

"I have to go this way." I informed them

"Awe, why?" They all moaned

"I'm meeting Josh at some TAN coffee."

"Oh my! Can I come with you? I love it there." Alexis yelled

"Well, I don't know, do you love it there or do you just want to see Josh?" I asked

"A little of both" She smiled

"Well were going to go." Catherine said

We hugged Michelle and Catherine and got on the subway to the coffee shop. Alexis followed and we sat on the subway.

"How do you handle him being gone all the time?" She asked me

"I don't know, he's not gone all the time, and depending on work I'll go with him." I stated, "You're not just going there to bother him right?"

"Oh no, I'm going to grab a coffee and get home, I was just joking with you before, I live right near there." She laughed

"Oh." I smiled

We made our way off the subway and down the street. It was a really nice day out. Even though it was September it was still a very warm day. There were no clouds in sight and the skies were blue. Alexis and I were almost there, but she got so distracted looking in the windows of different stores and wanting me to see. I finally got her to the little shop and we walked in. It was a very small little coffee shop with dim lights. We walked in and the people greeted us. Alexis went right to the counter to order the coffee she wanted. I looked down the tables and immediately saw Josh. Who else would have blue dye in their hair? I walked over and sat in the chair in front of him.

"Hi." I smiled

He looked up and his face was gleaming

"How was your day?" He gleamed

"Very fun." I said looking over at Alexis

"Do you have anything planned, because I kind of want to show you around" I smiled

"No, I want to see!" He replied

"Well let's go." I smiled

Josh stood up and hugged me. I could see Alexis getting her coffee from over his shoulder and pulled away. He took my hand and we made our way out of the little place. As I walked by Alexis I stopped and gave her a hug.

"Thanks for everything today, I had a really good time."

"Oh your welcome," she looked over at Josh, "Have fun" she leaned closer and whispered to my ear "With him."

I looked up and smiled, and she started giggling also. I took Josh's hand once again and we walked out the door and I leaded him down the street.

"Where are we going?" He smiled

"CN Tower"

"Oh, how far of a walk is that?"

"Not far, we're taking the subway."

He moaned and we kept walking and turned down Shaw Street. I knew this area like the back of my hand. We walked until we got to a group of houses on the left.

"I lived in that one," I pointed to it, "only for about 2 months though. We moved a lot"

"Oh."

It was a really old looking house. It had missing bricks and vines and bushes in need of a trim. We continued until we got to the subway station.

"Can't we just take a taxi?" He asked

"Um, no, you're taking the subway, its fun!"

I pulled him into the station and we got down to where we were going to board.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" He asked

"Yes!"

I was surprised he asked knowing I've lived here all my life until he took me to Vancouver. Eventually the subway came and we got on. I don't think Josh liked it very much because he was bouncing around asking when we get off.

"Soon, relax" I laughed

After many stops of watching people get off and others come on, it was our turn. Josh jumped up and we walked up to the road. After a while of walking we finally arrived on Front Street and could see the tower.

"Whoa, I have never been this close to it, that's fucking huge."

I laughed and we walked down the path towards it. We got to the tower and Josh stopped outside it and looked up. I watched his head tilt all the way back, till it wouldn't go back anymore. We decided to go back to our hotel as it was getting colder outside because later and darker.

We arrived at our hotel and made our way up to our room. We were planning on leaving tomorrow so I got all my things together and cleaned up the hotel a bit. Josh was outside smoking and came in freezing. I giggled at his attempts to get warmer and laid down in the bed. He got something more comfortable on and jumped in beside me.

"I don't like this weather." He moaned

"Why not? I love it. Its my favourite season."

"It is?" He sounded really surprised and mumbled "it is" to himself again.

He moved closer to me and I jumped.

"Holy crap your cold!"

"And you're so warm." He mumbled

He laughed and pulled me closer to him. He put his arm around me and I could feel is frigid fingers on my back, trying to get warmer. It wasn't just his fingers though, it was his feet too. I put my arms around him and he just seemed to crunch up in a ball and nestle himself next to me taking advantage of all my body heat. Eventually his breathing slowed and he was sleeping. I smiled and rested my head on his and slowly drifted into sleep aswell.


	20. Chapter 20

I woke up to Josh packing up all his stuff. It was a very rushed morning but we were able to do it and get on the plane. The ride was beginning to feel almost like a routine, because of how many I've been on in such a short amount of time. The rest of the day was a blur as I was exhausted.

I woke up and got ready as usual to go to work. I did my usual tidy up and kissed Josh goodbye before I left. It was a beautiful Sunday October morning. I got to work and walked into the vacant hallway. I got up to the main desk and looked at the different things I had to do today. Christina came up behind me

"It's his birthday today." She mumbled

"Who's Bentley's?" I asked

She nodded.

"Why do you look so upset then?" I giggled

"It's just, he's, he's been in this hospital for 2 years now, and he just turned 6 `. He's missing out on his life because of this."

I smiled, "He's fine. Be happy, it's his birthday! So, did you get him anything?"

"Of course." She laughed, "He's been into music and everything lately so I got him a guitar but its one of those smaller ones for kids."

"Awe! I didn't know he liked that kind of stuff. Did you give it to him yet?" I asked

"I will, maybe after lunch though."

"Okay! Tell me, I want to go and sing and do all that birthday stuff!"

She laughed and nodded.

I took out my phone and dialled the apartment number.

"Hello" I heard Josh say,

"Hi!"

"Oh, hi." He mumbled

"Could you do me the biggest favour ever?" I pleaded

"Um, sure."

"Could you come by the hospital for a bit, at around one?"

"Why?" he sounded confused

I knew if I told him I wanted him to see Bentley and maybe play a song for him he wouldn't come because he never liked that sort of thing.

"Just come. Please? You'll see when you get here."

"Okay," He mumbled unsure of his answer.

"Thank you!" I cheered, "You're the best!"

"I know." He declared

"Okay, well I'll see you then! Love you. Oh, and bring your guitar!"

"Why?"

"Just do it." I asserted

"Okay, bye"

I hung up the phone and was now really excited to see Bentley's face when Josh played a song for him. The day went by really slow and but eventually 1 o clock rolled around. I went to the front doors where I knew Josh would walk in. He was there right at 1, without the guitar.

"Hey! Where's the guitar?" I squeaked

"Um, it's in the car but I didn't want to look like a freak walking into the hospital with a-"

"Go get it!"

He huffed and went back outside to get it. Eventually he made his way back in with the guitar.

"Why the hell am I doing this again?" He asked

"Um, you'll see." I laughed

I guided him through the maze of halls to Bentley's room. We were just outside the door when he pulled me back.

"You know I'm not good with kids."

"Oh shut up."

"I'm a bad influence" He smiled as I dragged him in.

There were a few of Bentley's other doctors there aswell with him and they had brought balloons and stuff.

"Ella!" Bentley cheered when I walked in. I went over to the bed and gave him a hug,

"Happy Birthday buddy!" I smiled

He looked over at Josh and I introduced him.

"This is my boyfriend, Josh."

"Hi Josh!" He cheered

"Hello" He said as he leaned his guitar against the wall.

I could just tell by the way Bentley was smiling that this was already the best day he'd had in a while. All around the room were colours, all the colours of the rainbow in balloons instead of the dull tan.

"Ella, Ella! Look at what I got!"

He had the little guitar Christina had been talking about on the end of his bed and picked it up. He started playing it and I looked back at Josh who was smiling. I think he was surprised at how Bentley somewhat knew what he was doing. Josh got up and moved closer to the bed.

"Want me to show you something?"

Josh told him different names of strings and showed him some different melodies. I stood for a while just watching as he taught Bentley all these new things.

Doctors came and went all throughout the day and each time a new person came the smile of the little boys face grew. I stayed for a bit until I got paged to another room and I said my goodbyes and went. Josh really loved teaching other kids about music, mostly because it was such a big part in his life.

I finished things up at work and had the rest of the day off. I went back to Bentley's room and Josh was still in there showing him new things. As soon as the boys' eyes caught mine he screamed,

"Ella look what I can do!"

He moved the guitar up to his chest and got his fingers ready to play. Josh turned and smiled at me, while Bentley smiled,

"Ready?"

"Yes. Show me!"

He started playing Beside You perfectly. My mouth dropped to the floor and I just listened, Josh was admiring his every move, watching his little fingers hit every string. He got about half way through the song and stopped.

"Wow Bentley!" I smiled, "You're a real pro!"

Bentley smiled and as Josh added,

"Yea maybe you can play with me one day!"

"Really?" He squeaked, "Do you have a band?"

"Oh yea! Want me to show you something?" Josh asked him

He nodded his head, really excited to see Josh play. Josh walked over and picked up his guitar. He walked back to his seat next to the hospital bed and got ready to play.

"What's the song called?" Bentley asked curious.

"Cross my heart."

Josh started the melody and hit every note perfectly. He didn't sing, just played. He always looked so deep into the music when he was playing, like nothing else in the world mattered. Bentley jumped up

"I like this song!"

Josh smiled and kept playing the song.

Josh finished up the song eventually and Bentley smiled from ear to ear.

"Do you play concerts?"

"Yes, we do."

"That means you're FAMOUS!"

"Uh, sure." Josh giggled

Just as Josh said this, Christina came back from the page she had gotten earlier.

"How's your song going baby?" She asked

"Mommy! Josh is famous!"

"Really?" She said smiling

She had already known he was in Marianas so this wasn't a surprise to her.

"Yes! That's so cool!"

The infant seemed to just adore Josh. I left for a few minutes and came back to Bentley sound asleep and Josh texting.

"You wore him out." I smiled as I walked over and fixed his sheets so they were draped over him nicely.

"Can we go?" He asked, "I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be watching him or if I could just go."

"Yep, we can go, the paediatricians take care of him a lot of the time."

Josh stood up and grabbed his black leather jacket that was lying on the back of the chair. I grabbed his hand and we walked to the locker rooms.


	21. Chapter 21

It was quite a quiet day in the hospital today so there weren't that many people. I lead him through the 'Authorized Personnel Only' and into the locker rooms. I walked over to my locker and Josh sat down on the little blue bench across from it. I put my small white button up jacket away and got my coat out. Josh and I made our way out of the building and eventually got to the car.

"He's a smart little kid." Josh smiled as he got into the drivers seat.

"I know" I smiled

It was quiet in the car for a while until I broke the silence,

"I thought you said you weren't good with kids!" I giggled

"I'm not. With other kids, he's an exception I guess."

"Ha, okay, you guess. You really made his day you know. You'll have to go back to see him again some time because until you see him again he wont stop talking bout you."

Josh smiled and just drove, watching the roads.

In time we got back to the house and I got ready for bed, as it had been a long day. I could hear Josh in the other room listening to the answering machine. I couldn't hear exactly what was being said but I could tell right away it was him mom. I got my PJs on and started to brush my teeth. Josh came in minutes later,

"Mom wants us over tomorrow for thanksgiving dinner." He mumbled as he grabbed his toothbrush out of the cabinet.

"Oh yea!" I mumbled with the foam of the toothpaste in my mouth.

I had almost forgotten all about thanksgiving. I loved his mom's place. It was always so beautiful this time of year with all the trees and fall colours. Especially since it was at the waterfront. I spit out the mint tasting foam and moved over so Josh could get at the sink aswell.

"I love her place. It's so outstanding and colourful." I beamed

I stumbled over into the bed and got myself comfortable.

"Yea it is really nice." He laughed as he walked into the room.

He got in beside me and we slowly fell asleep.

My eyes started to gradually open as I woke up. I was cradled in Josh's arms, his body heat radiating onto me. He was fast asleep all around me. It was completely dark in our room, black. I laid there for a while until Josh moved a little and I was able to move over and look at the time. It was 1:13PM.

"Josh!" I whispered as I moved my hand up to his chest

He groaned and moved his warmth closer to me.

"We have to get up"

"Why" he groaned

"It's late,"

I moved away and pulled the covers back to sit up on the bed. Josh rolled over, taking the rest of the sheets with him.

"Josh, you told your mom you would be there at three. Its quarter after one."

He slowly turned around and opened his eyes.

"Oh yea. Today's the day," He mumbled

"What happening?" I asked

He hesitated before saying it was Thanksgiving.

Eventually it became three o'clock and we were just leaving out the door then.

"We're always late." I mumbled

"Sorry bout that." He laughed

When we got to his parent's house Josh seemed very agitated. After a good year of living with him I would know. I tried to ignore it and just continue with the visit. The minute Josh and I walked in you could smell the Turkey and things cooking.

"Hello" Josh said as we walked in

His mom came around the corner with her apron and everything on to greet us.

"Hi Baby!" She bursted as she gave him a hug,

"And Ella!" She came over to hug me too, "How are you guys?"

"Good" I replied

Just as we got in Josh's aunt came running in. The door pretty much slammed against the wall and she dropped all her bags.

"Congratulations!" She screamed as she hugged me,

I hugged her back, still very confused.

"Uh.."

She pulled away and noticed the puzzled look on my face. She looked back at Josh, and then I looked back at him. He looked really serious.

"Did I miss…" She trailed off as Corlynn pulled her into the kitchen.

"What was that?" I whispered to Josh as we moved over to the sitting room.

He just shrugged his shoulders and sat down in living room. As soon as we sat down Sara's kids came thumping and yelling down the stairs and onto us.

"Uncle Josh!"

"Ella!" They all screamed

Every one of them started telling a different story, and they were talking all at the same time. I just watched and nodded, trying to make out what some of them were trying to say. Eventually Sara called for them to play a game out front. I peered over the coloured wall and watched them as they put on their shoes. I could feel the slight cool breeze on my face as the door opened and closed as each child went out.

"Wanna go for a walk?" I asked Josh as I stood up.

"Sure!" He perked up real fast and moved to the back door.

On our way out I asked the others if they wanted to join but they all declined and Josh and I started on out little walk. His parents' back yard was magnificent. There were a few trees and some water as we looked ahead. Josh grabbed my hand and swung it a little back and forth as we were walking.

"You know, you've never actually taken me back here before." I smiled

He just smirked and we moved on. There was a small dirt path we were walking on that lead to the water. It was really quiet, all I could hear were the birds and the slow sway of the trees. As we came closer to the waters edge I let go of Josh's hand and moved closer to see it.

"It's so beautiful" I smiled as I looked back at Josh.

I became confused for a split second on why he wasn't there anymore when I realized where he was, on his knee.

"Ella, I think it takes a while to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and maybe you think this all happened really fast with you moving here but, I can't help but feel like a part of me is missing when your not here with me."

"Ella your perfect. Nobody in the entire world makes me feel of do the things you make me do. I want to be with you forever. Ella,"

"Will you please do me the happiest man alive and do me the extraordinary honour of

marrying me?" He said slowly and sweetly

"Are you serious?" I mumbled smiling, tears coming to my eyes

"Of course I am. Ella, will you marry me?"

I smiled, the biggest smile, and nodded my head. He stood up and hugged me.

"I love you." He whispered

I was in the midst of the most beautiful little forest, with the man of my dreams, the one I would marry!

I gripped him tighter and kissed him.

"Love you too"

He took my left hand and gently slid the ring onto it.


End file.
